Despite huge improvements in healthcare, the overall standard of physical health in many developed countries is now falling. What could be the reason for this trend, and what can be done to reverse it?

With the advance in technology, there is a significant development in the healthcare sector but
first
-world nations are encountering a fall in the overall standard of physical
health
. There are several factors contributing to the problem and in my essays, I would like to state 3 major reasons and how to reverse
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
.
First
of all, in developed nations, there is a lack of physical exercise nowadays. With updated trams and trains,
people
rarely use their leisure
time
to exercise for physical
health
. Developed countries
Add the comma(s)
, therefore,
show examples
therefore
have
people
at risk of heart problems and obesity. Government and
people
should
work
hand
in
hand
to promote healthy lifestyles and
health
cautious tips among the communities.
Secondly
,
work
-related
stress
has been one of the factors impacting the decline in developed countries.
People
tend to develop unhealthy eating habits and sleep disorders because of
work
stress
. In return, many
resulted
Add the preposition
inresulted
fromresulted
show examples
a sudden drop in overall standard.
Health
organisations should start campaigns regarding how to handle
stress
in a healthy way.
Thirdly
, the daily meal choice of most
people
in developed countries chooses to be fast food or outside food. Since balancing
work
and household is difficult, families start to find it difficult to have
time
for home-cooked
meals
which are not only nutritious but
also
healthy.
Instead
, most working families tend to eat fast food frequently and the very habit leads to obesity and cancer. Organisations responsible for the workforce should look into allowing workers to go back on
time
for preparing
meals
for their families. In conclusion, the recent drop in the standard of physical
health
in
first
-world nations could be because of lack of exercise,
stress
-induced problems and
time
restraint for preparing healthy
meals
at home. Several measures could take place to reverse it by promoting healthy lifestyles, starting campaigns to handle
stress
better and allowing workers to go home early to prepare healthy
meals
. I would like to suggest that government agencies and
people
should
work
hand
in
hand
to lead healthy lifestyles and be
health
-cautious every day.
Submitted by minthetster on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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