Do you feel it is better for young people leaving school to study further at University or go straight into the workplace? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples for your knowledge and experience.
A group of
individuals
presents
the view that young Correct subject-verb agreement
present
people
should pursue further
education
at university
, whereas
others believe that entering the workforce immediately after school is a more beneficial path. I strongly agree with the former opinion, as university
Correct article usage
a university
education
provides both specialized knowledge and personal development that can enhance long-term career
prospects.
On the one hand, some people
justifiably argue that continuing education
at university
allows young people
to gain a deeper insight into their chosen field and acquire specialized knowledge. This
can significantly increase their employment opportunities and potential income in the future. For instance
, professions such
as medicine, engineering, and law require advanced degrees, and university
education
equips individuals
with the necessary expertise to excel in these fields.
They also
present the sound argument that higher education
contributes to personal development. University
life helps students enhance critical thinking, communication, and problem-solving skills
. These skills
are not only beneficial for their careers but also
for their personal growth and adaptability in different aspects of life. Furthermore
, the networking opportunities offered by university
can be invaluable, allowing students to connect with peers and professionals who may assist in future Add an article
the university
career
advancement.
On the other hand
, another group of people
claim that entering the workforce immediately allows young people
to gain practical experience
and earn income earlier. They insist that starting a career
right away can lead to faster career
advancement, especially in industries where hands-on experience
is highly valued. However
, I do not find this
argument as
convincing, because Change preposition
apply
while
practical experience
is important, it may limit individuals
' long-term growth without the theoretical foundation and critical thinking skills
gained through higher education
. Many industries, even those that prioritize experience
, still reward individuals
with advanced degrees in terms of higher positions and salaries.
To conclude
, in my view, pursuing further
education
at university
is the best option for young people
. Gaining specialized knowledge and developing essential skills
, as I outlined in body
1, will open more doors in the future. Capitalize word
Body
Moreover
, although
immediate work experience
may offer short-term gains, it does not provide the same long-term advantages that a university
degree can offer.Submitted by www.prnmmdn on
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task achievement
Try to include more specific examples or evidence to support the points you make, particularly in the paragraphs discussing the benefits of immediate workforce entry. This would help strengthen your essay by providing more concrete evidence for your arguments.
coherence cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, make sure that each paragraph flows smoothly into the next. You can use more transitional phrases to guide the reader through your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Your essay includes a clear introduction and conclusion, which nicely frame your arguments.
task achievement
You have provided a balanced view on the topic, addressing both sides of the argument effectively.
task response
The main points in each paragraph are well-supported and are logically presented.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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