IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

You are going on a month training programme to the UK and know that the head of the course would like one of the participants to be the social events’ organiser. Write a letter to the Training Organiser •expressing your interest in the role •requesting more information about it •explaining what experience you have

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Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing
this
Linking Words
 letter in connection with the position of social
event
Use synonyms
 organizer. As you know I am working in your company which is located in Delhi. After checking my regular performance, my manager offered me a monthly training program that our company organizes in the United Kingdom. I love to do volunteer work, so my team leader told me about our social
event
Use synonyms
 that anyone can attend and become
organizer
Add an article
the organizer
an organizer
show examples
 of it.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, I would like to acquire more knowledge about the
event
Use synonyms
 like what type of things you do in it and how you encourage others to join it.
Is
Change the verb form
Are
show examples
 there any rewards you offer to the volunteers?
Apart from
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
, where
this
Linking Words
event
Use synonyms
 will happen, in the same building or somewhere else?
Moreover
Linking Words
, as I mentioned in the aforementioned paragraph, I like to do social work. I did many social work with the help of my friends.
Firstly
Linking Words
, On the weekends, we all get together and go to one area of our city and clean it properly. We
also
Linking Words
 met our local councillor and discussed the utmost issue of that particular palace and took help from them as well if I needed any. Some days, we
also
Linking Words
 met the poor children and tried to provide them with the help they wanted. It would be really appreciated if you give me the opportunity to showcase my skills. I am looking forward to your prompt response. Yours sincerely, Manjinder Kaur

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure each paragraph focuses on a single idea. This helps improve clarity and coherence in your writing.
task response
Ensure you address all aspects of the task comprehensively. For example, you could mention specific skills or experiences that are relevant to organizing social events.
writing style
Your enthusiasm for the role and social work is evident, which adds a positive tone to your letter.
task response
You provided a clear request for more information, showing your interest in understanding the role better.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • expressing interest
  • enthusiastic
  • responsibilities
  • expectations
  • relevant experience
  • suitability
  • organise
  • co-ordinate
  • engage
  • social activities
  • detailed information
  • demonstrate proficiency
  • prior experience
  • effective communication
  • successful events
  • team collaboration
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