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Writing Samples
Band 8

Some people believe that studying at university or college is the best route to a successful career, while others think that gaining work experience and skills is more important. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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It is believed that university, having the resources and experiments, is the preferable way for people to have a successful career,
whereas
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 others argue that
work
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experience
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as well as
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 personal
skills
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 is more important. Both perspectives have valid points, but in my opinion, a balanced approach is best. On the one hand, those who believe higher education is important state that it can provide
individuals
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 with essential theoretical knowledge. Universities have access to advanced resources unavailable outside of the campus, which enables students to gain in-depth knowledge in their chosen fields.
In addition
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, many employers view a degree as a marker of competence and dedication, which can enhance an individual's employability and earning potential.
For instance
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, professions
such
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 as medicine, engineering, and law require formal qualifications unattainable through higher education.
Furthermore
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, universities offer opportunities for networking with peers and industry professionals, which can be instrumental in securing internships or job placements.
On the other hand
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, opponents of
this
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 view point out that developing personal
skills
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 and
work
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experience
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 is a better way to achieve successful resumes, as practical knowledge often outweighs theoretical understanding in many industries. Hands-on
experience
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 enables
individuals
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 to adapt to real-world problems and acquire
skills
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 that cannot be taught in the classroom.
For example
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, many technology companies prioritize hiring candidates with proven
experience
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 in coding and software development, even if they lack formal qualifications.
Therefore
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, prioritizing
work
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experience
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 to gain real-world problem-solving
skills
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 would help
individuals
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 build their professional resumes. In conclusion,
while
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 obtaining a degree can create valuable job opportunities,
individuals
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 should strive to balance their education with the development of personal
skills
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 and practical
work
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experience
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.
This
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 combined approach increases the likelihood of achieving a successful and fulfilling career in the future.

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph leads smoothly to the next with suitable linking phrases. This could enhance the flow of your essay even further.
task achievement
While the examples provided are relevant, adding specific statistics or recent case studies could strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
The essay provides a thorough introduction and a well-rounded conclusion, encapsulating the main arguments effectively.
task achievement
Main points are well-supported with clear examples, making the argument compelling.
task achievement
Balanced discussion of both views, demonstrating a comprehensive understanding of the topic.
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