IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The internet provides us with information about life and culture of different countries and some people say it is not necessary to visit these countries to learn about them. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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There is a common notion among the masses that
there
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apply
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any lifestyle of people living abroad can be understood on the internet
instead
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 of visiting those countries as it furnishes information regarding the cultural background of the people of multifarious societies. I totally disagree with the statement.
This
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 essay will articulate the reasons in the forthcoming paragraphs.
Firstly
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, the most conspicuous reason why visiting different
region
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regions
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 play a significant role in order for comprehending the
tradition
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traditions
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 of the community abroad is physical interaction. To elucidate, in order to know the way of living of the people across the globe it is very imperative to travel to those nations
instead
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 of getting information on the net.
Hence
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, when a person visits a country personally he can get a better notion of understanding and respecting their day-to-day norms which are not available on the net.
Moreover
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, exploring facts virtually will only give
u
Correct your spelling
you
 a rough idea which is way too different in actual form.
For instance
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, a recent survey conducted by the Ministry of Tourism held that
according to
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 the general public, going physically to various nations helps in perceiving the experience in an effective and efficient manner.
Furthermore
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, another significant reason is a lively experience.
In other words
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, nothing can be more exciting and informative than physically travelling to other countries
for apprehending
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to apprehend
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 the lifestyle of the individuals. As the information available on the internet is too limited, virtual data can only give a person a rough ideology but when the public visits that country actually the experience is more fascinating and worth knowing.
For example
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, the info available sometimes is too vague than the reality apart from that, it only gives you a conception of the historical background which can be better known and cherished by going to another nation.
To conclude
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,
although
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 there is no iota of doubt that the internet is flooded with significant and comprehensive knowledge regarding every civilization yet in my popping into multiple nations can be more adventurous and more knowledgeable which is irreplaceable.

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General
Your introduction is clear, but there are a few grammatical issues. For example, 'there any lifestyle' should be 'the lifestyle.' Additionally, 'among the masses' could be simplified to 'some people.'
Coherence & Cohesion
In your body paragraphs, ensure that ideas are logically sequenced. You have a tendency to mix points about physical interaction and lively experience without clear transitions. For instance, transition words like 'Moreover' and 'Furthermore' should connect ideas in a more structured manner.
Task Achievement
Your essay makes relevant points, but some of them lack detailed examples or explanations. Strengthen your points with more specific details or examples. For instance, describe exactly how experiencing a culture in person might reveal nuances that online information cannot capture.
Language
Grammatical accuracy is an area for improvement. For example, 'going physically to various nations helps in perceiving the experience in an effective and efficient manner' could be simplified to 'visiting various countries provides a more effective and efficient understanding.'
General
Your essay has a strong, clear thesis statement which sets up your argument effectively. This makes it easy for the reader to understand your position from the beginning.
Coherence & Cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes your points and restates your argument, providing a clear end to your essay.
Task Achievement
Your essay addresses the prompt well, clearly stating your disagreement with the notion that it is unnecessary to visit other countries to understand their cultures.
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