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Band 7.5

Many students take part-time jobs while studying in universities. Do you think it is a good idea or a bad idea?

#students #jobs #universities #idea
The majority of
students
 prefer to
work
 part-time
as well as
 pursue their education. Throughout
this
 essay, I will discuss and share my opinion on my matter.
Firstly
, I will explore how working whilst studying can be beneficial for individuals studying at universities.
Secondly
, I will discuss how jobs could help their financial issues.
To begin
 with, it is reasonable to think that doing both employment and study is very popular among undergraduates and postgraduates.
This
 gives
students
 an opportunity to be acknowledged about the
work
 environment and improve themselves in their field meanwhile continuing education in universities. At the same time, by working as a part-time employee,
students
 can get more practical information based on real examples of what they have been taught in institutions and apply what they have learned to conditions which they face during working hours.
In addition
, working part-time
also
 gives support to a group of them who have financial implications related to university
such
 as fees and other expenses. There are so many expenditures including university fees, transportation and accommodation payments which create difficulties for most people who want to continue their education.
As a result
, the salaries they earn from employment could make their lives more affordable by helping to overcome financial hardships, which results in less stress and pressure over them correlated with monetary problems. In conclusion, engaging in a job not only prepares
students
 for
work
 situations in the future but
also
 supports them economically. In my opinion, more opportunities should be provided for
students
 who
also
 want to
work
.
Submitted by ferdakerim on

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task achievement
Ensure you have a clear opinion throughout the essay, and try to provide a more nuanced analysis of the topic by considering possible downsides or challenges to balance your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Use a wider range of linking words and phrases to enhance the flow of your essay, and work on paragraphing to ensure each main idea is fully developed and logically connected to the next.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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