Some believe that the Olympic games help bring people from different nations together, while others claim that holding the Olympics wastes money which could be used for important issues.

The
Olympic
Games
are a famous sporting
event
held every four years, and thousands of athletes from different countries participate.
Thus
, leading up to the
event
, there is significant preparation to be done by the
host
country
.
Although
this
preparation is expensive, I believe that
overall
, the
Olympic
Games
are beneficial for the
host
country
. It is true that the
host
country
of the
Olympic
Games
must spend a large amount of money preparing for the
event
.
For example
, they need facilities for the many and varied sporting events
such
as rowing, athletics and gymnastics. The cost of constructing and renovating these facilities can be high. The Olympics
also
attracts many spectators from around the world
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
so providing adequate accommodation, food, and public transport for these visitors creates another expense for the
host
country
.
Nevertheless
, the advantages of hosting the
Olympic
Games
far outweigh these costs. The construction and renovation of sports facilities, public transport, and the development of the hospitality industry promote tourism in the
host
country
during and after the
Games
. The long-term financial return from
this
boost in tourism means that the initial expense is a highly worthwhile investment.
In addition
, the organisation of the
event
requires additional human resources, with a variety of skills.
Thus
, hosting the
Olympic
Games
creates new jobs for local people. In conclusion, even though there are high costs associated with organising the
Olympic
Games
,
overall
, it has a positive effect on the
host
country
both in the short-term and long-term as it encourages tourism and generates jobs for local people.
Submitted by adedayoadesewa1 on

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task response
The essay responds effectively to the task by discussing both sides of the argument and providing a clear opinion. Make sure to elaborate on the opposing view slightly more to further strengthen the response.
coherence cohesion
The essay is well-structured with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Improve coherence by using transition words more consistently to connect ideas and improve flow.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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