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Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people say that now we can see films on our phones or tablets there is no need to go to the cinema other says to be fully enjoyed films need to be seen in a cinema. Discuss both these views and give your own opinión

#people #films #phones #tablets #cinema #opinión
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Nowadays, due to the availability of technology at our
fingertips
Add a comma
,fingertips
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 often choose to watch
movies
Use synonyms
 on their
device
Fix the agreement mistake
devices
show examples
 like mobile or
tablet
Fix the agreement mistake
tablets
show examples
. But some
people
Use synonyms
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
stick to
watch
Wrong verb form
watching
show examples
movies
Use synonyms
 in
cinema
Use synonyms
halls
Use synonyms
 to experience the huge screen and
watching
Wrong verb form
watch
show examples
 their favourite
character
Fix the agreement mistake
characters
show examples
 and actors. I would prefer to watch
movies
Use synonyms
 on my
Fix the agreement mistake
table
show examples
tables
Correct your spelling
tablet
show examples
 or cell phone rather than going to
cinema
Use synonyms
halls
Use synonyms
.
Firstly
Linking Words
, I would discuss
about
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
the
people
Use synonyms
metanlity
Correct your spelling
mentality
 who choose to watch
Use synonyms
Add an article
a movie
the movie
show examples
movie
Fix the agreement mistake
movies
show examples
 on their device. Some
people
Use synonyms
 prefer to stay at home lying on their bed eating their favourite snacks and watching the
movie
Use synonyms
 their enjoyment
lie
Wrong verb form
lying
show examples
 on their bed. Some
people
Use synonyms
 think
pratically
Correct your spelling
practically
 that if I will go to
Use synonyms
cinema
Add an article
the cinema
show examples
 the cost of
ticket
Add an article
the ticket
a ticket
show examples
, transport cost , snacks cost which will sum up the amount
Add the comma(s)
, on the other hand,
show examples
on the other hand
Linking Words
 take out time to go to see the
movie
Use synonyms
. So they take
Change the capitalization
Netflix
NetFlix
show examples
netflix
Correct article usage
a netflix
show examples
 subscription and watch all the
movies
Use synonyms
Correct your spelling
throughout
show examples
through out
Correct your spelling
throughout
show examples
 the month without any restrictions.
Thus
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 trend is booming
now a days
Correct the word
nowadays
show examples
 in Youngsters because they have to
expence
Correct your spelling
expense
 wisely as per their pocket money.
Secondly
Linking Words
, Some viewers are so
desparate
Correct your spelling
desperate
 to see the
movie
Use synonyms
 on the day of reléase
Linking Words
first day
Add a hyphen
first-day
show examples
first
Linking Words
 show, because they want to create status in the society. Others are so
facinating
Correct your spelling
fascinating
 to watch
Use synonyms
Add an article
a movie
the movie
show examples
movie
Fix the agreement mistake
movies
show examples
 in
cinema
Use synonyms
hall
Fix the agreement mistake
halls
show examples
Correct your spelling
because
becuase
Correct your spelling
because
 the real enjoyment of watching action
movies
Use synonyms
 with 3d
effect
Fix the agreement mistake
effects
show examples
 only can be seen in theatres.
Linking Words
This
Change the determiner
These
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 are not in the group of
people
Use synonyms
 who watch
movies
Use synonyms
 daily on their devices. They are the real fan of the
cinema
Use synonyms
halls
Use synonyms
 and the experience they get in that they
Correct your spelling
fulfil
fullfill
Correct your spelling
fulfil
 their wants.
Thus
Linking Words
watch
Wrong verb form
watching
show examples
movies
Use synonyms
 in
cinema
Use synonyms
halls
Use synonyms
 will not be outdated but will go some more decades. To culminate, the
Use synonyms
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
opinión
Correct your spelling
opinions
 varies significantly, but it is more joyful and
Correct your spelling
interesting
intersting
Correct your spelling
interesting
 watching
Use synonyms
movie
Correct article usage
a movie
show examples
 on
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 cell phone or
Fix the agreement mistake
table
show examples
tables
Correct your spelling
tablet
show examples
.
Submitted by hirendhanwani on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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