Some people say that it is beneficial for young people to visit different countries of the world, others oppose. Do you agree or disagree? Provide reasons and support them with your own examples.
Some
people
believe that it is useful for the young generation to visit
other countries
of the world, while
others oppose Change preposition
apply
to
Change preposition
apply
this
view. I completely agree with this
statement because visiting other countries
broadens the outlook
of young people
and increases their willingness to learn.
If the young generation visits other countries
, it broadens their outlook
. They experience different countries
, cultures
, languages, histories and lifestyles. It increases their outlook
about several practical knowledge and experience. It allows them to learn about cultures
from different other
Correct word choice
apply
countries
and compare them with their cultures
and lifestyles. This
enhances their critical thinking and imagination power. For example
, Japanese children visit
one foreign country a year which helps them to learn about different countries
and compare them with their own countries
.
Moreover
, visiting other countries
allow
young Correct subject-verb agreement
allows
people
to increase their willingness to learn. It increases their ability to learn and know more about anything. If young people
start travelling the world at their
young age, they will know about different Change the word
a
cultures
and people
. They will realize how beautiful and diverse this
world is, and how important it is to learn about it. For example
, children in Australia, once in a survey told that they love to visit
other countries
because it allows them to see the unseen and know the unknown.
In conclusion, I personally believe that it is important to visit
other countries
for the young generation. Because it helps them to widen their outlook
and enhance their willingness to learn.Submitted by rahman_rehana on
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task achievement
Consider providing more specific examples to enhance the depth of your argument.
coherence cohesion
Work on developing smoother transitions between ideas to improve the overall flow.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are effectively presented, creating a cohesive argument.
task achievement
The essay directly addresses the task prompt and effectively discusses the benefits of traveling for young people.
task achievement
Your main points are supported with examples, which strengthens your arguments.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite