Some people say that it is beneficial for young people to visit different countries of the world, others oppose. Do you agree or disagree? Provide reasons and support them with your own examples.

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Some
people
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believe that it is useful for the young generation to
visit
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other
countries
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of the world,
while
Linking Words
others oppose
Change preposition
apply
show examples
to
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apply
show examples
this
Linking Words
view. I completely agree with
this
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statement because visiting other
countries
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broadens the
outlook
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of young
people
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and increases their willingness to learn. If the young generation visits other
countries
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, it broadens their
outlook
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. They experience different
countries
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,
cultures
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, languages, histories and lifestyles. It increases their
outlook
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about several practical knowledge and experience. It allows them to learn about
cultures
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from different
other
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
countries
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and compare them with their
cultures
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and lifestyles.
This
Linking Words
enhances their critical thinking and imagination power.
For example
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, Japanese children
visit
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one foreign country a year which helps them to learn about different
countries
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and compare them with their own
countries
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.
Moreover
Linking Words
, visiting other
countries
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allow
Correct subject-verb agreement
allows
show examples
young
people
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to increase their willingness to learn. It increases their ability to learn and know more about anything. If young
people
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start travelling the world at
their
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a
show examples
young age, they will know about different
cultures
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and
people
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. They will realize how beautiful and diverse
this
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world is, and how important it is to learn about it.
For example
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, children in Australia, once in a survey told that they love to
visit
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other
countries
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because it allows them to see the unseen and know the unknown. In conclusion, I personally believe that it is important to
visit
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other
countries
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for the young generation. Because it helps them to widen their
outlook
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and enhance their willingness to learn.
Submitted by rahman_rehana on

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task achievement
Consider providing more specific examples to enhance the depth of your argument.
coherence cohesion
Work on developing smoother transitions between ideas to improve the overall flow.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are effectively presented, creating a cohesive argument.
task achievement
The essay directly addresses the task prompt and effectively discusses the benefits of traveling for young people.
task achievement
Your main points are supported with examples, which strengthens your arguments.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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