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Band 5.5

there are many different types of music in the world today. why do we need music? is the traditional music of a country more important than the international music that is heard everywhere nowadays?

#music #world #country
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There are various types of
music
Use synonyms
 in today's world, listening to traditional
music
Use synonyms
,
in contrast
Linking Words
 to international one yields community-wide benefits.
Firstly
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, traditional
music
Use synonyms
 strengthens solidarity among societies. Every nation has several values
such
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 as national cuisine, clothing
or
Correct word choice
and
show examples
music
Use synonyms
 which set it apart from others. Because some of the traditional
music
Use synonyms
 become an icon or a symbol of a whole nation. It represents the notion of the culture of a specific society. Having listened from childhood whenever they hear the typical traditional
music
Use synonyms
 somewhere they remember their national identity and no matter in which country they are
people
Use synonyms
 from the same country can unite,
in other words
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 solely traditional
music
Use synonyms
 can encourage unanimity among
people
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.
Secondly
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, we need traditional
music
Use synonyms
 to educate the
people
Use synonyms
. Cultural
music
Use synonyms
 expresses the history of a country, informing the heroic deeds of ancestors or the hardships that a nation underwent. By listening to traditional
music
Use synonyms
people
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, especially
young
Correct article usage
the young
show examples
 generation of a society can glean invaluable history-related information.
This
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, in turn, encourages
people
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 to recognize who their predecessors were ,
what
Correct word choice
and what
show examples
 they did, and teach them to be proud of being
the
Change the word
their
show examples
 descendent of them.
For example
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, in Turkey in almost every national media
people
Use synonyms
 hear their traditional
music
Use synonyms
everyday
Replace the word
every day
show examples
 and that made them more patriotic. In conclusion,
although
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 there are many sorts of
music
Use synonyms
,
instead
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 of
foreign
Add an article
a foreign
show examples
one
Fix the agreement mistake
ones
show examples
, listening to traditional
music
Use synonyms
 plays an important role in not only uniting
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
but
also
Linking Words
 educating
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a society.
Submitted by jamshidobloqulov32 on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • emotional release
  • cultural significance
  • globalization
  • cultural exchange
  • technology
  • preservation
  • cultural heritage
  • social cohesion
  • expression
  • consumption
  • production
  • traditional music
  • international music
  • diversity
  • identity
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