Some people believe that pop stars deserve to earn more money than classical music performers. Some disagree
Nowadays, a group of people admit that
pop
star
can get a well-paid more than classical musicians. While some Fix the agreement mistake
stars
Correct your spelling
believe
belive
that it is not fair and Correct your spelling
believe
Correct your spelling
also
aslo
argue that classical Correct your spelling
also
music
performers can earn money
better than the
others. In Correct article usage
apply
this
essay, I will discuss more about
Remove the preposition
apply
this
viewpoint.
There are many Correct quantifier usage
more.
reason
to Change to a plural noun
reasons
demonstate
Correct your spelling
demonstrate
that
why Correct word choice
apply
pop
music
performance
Fix the agreement mistake
performances
have
a handsome salary Change the verb form
has
more
than Correct quantifier usage
apply
classical
Add an article
a classical
musician
. Fix the agreement mistake
musicians
Firstly
, most of the time they spend for
work. Whilst people fall asleep, the idol Change preposition
on
is still produce
their Change the verb form
is still produced
is still producing
music
video, record
to release a new album or Wrong verb form
recording
pracite
all the time in the studio to prepare for the Correct your spelling
practice
next
performance
. Although
,
Remove the comma
apply
this
job can bring much
Correct quantifier usage
apply
money
, frame, and wealthy
lifestyle, it still Correct article usage
a wealthy
contain
some drawbacks. Change the verb form
contains
For example
, the pop
star
easy
to face with exhausted and cope with stress by many under pressure to maintain their career path, Add a missing verb
is easy
thus
they need to spending
Wrong verb form
spend
money
on treating their health. Beside
, Replace the word
Besides
the
Correct article usage
an
Correct your spelling
enormous
enourmous
amount of Correct your spelling
enormous
money
is poured to attractive
their appearance. Following that, most Replace the word
attract
of
Change preposition
apply
celebrity
have to build an effective marketing plan which Add an article
the celebrity
catch
up Change the verb form
catches
the
trend and develop a good personality to make an impression on audiences.
Change preposition
with the
On the other hand
, music
performance
also
take
undergo years to learn to play Change the verb form
takes
music
instrumental
. Replace the word
instruments
For instance
, becoming a professional performer, they have to practice in
a long-term period. Change preposition
for
Besides
, when they are live performance
, they have to contend with coerce too. To bring a high-
Correct your spelling
high performance
performance
, they have to match with other performers all the time, so that
it can be stressful.
In summary, Correct word choice
apply
pop
Correct article usage
a pop
star
or classical Fix the agreement mistake
stars
performer
will have to cope with pressure in each career path. But if I have to choose, Fix the agreement mistake
performers
pop
Add an article
the pop
star
will deserve to receive a well-paid more than classical musicians, because they have to spend Fix the agreement mistake
stars
for
many expensesChange preposition
on
Submitted by nguyenminhman21691 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?