IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Children should never be educated at home by their parents. Do you agree or disagree?

#children #home #parents
The views concerning how to obtain the
education
 of
children
 date back to a long past. While some parts of people advocate that state schools are necessary, others believe that training systems belonging to the government can not provide any benefits to
children
. In spite of these different approaches in the field of
education
, I would like to announce that I am in favour that a systematical
education
 host many positive effects compared to parental methods. It is a true argument that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
education
 starts with family. Because the
children
 are to perceive the existence of their own family members,
such
 as mother and father. What is more, young individuals are prone to reflect
Change preposition
on the
show examples
the
Change the word
their
show examples
 parent acts as a whole. In
this
first
 step of
education
 given by mother and father, in general, child individuals are away from analyzing the different acts coming from other persons.
In other words
, they do not own enough practical applications of active life.
In addition
 to that, If the family members are against the co-
education
 model, in
this
 case, serious problems, which rather limited social interaction brings, will commence emerging. It is another analogous example that young
children
 who are deprived of the systematical
education
 curriculum can not combine the information in the current world. On the other side, students who are in state schools are to meet more opportunities compared to those who have in-home
education
.
For example
, with the help of getting the reciprocal ideas, the structure of making
decision
Add an article
a decision
the decision
show examples
 in students grow up to a degree. Another point which should be remembered is that it precipitates to improve the collective perceptions. To recapitulate, I would like to reiterate that a particular
education
 method which is structured well by a scientific view will create
a great deal of
Change the quantifier
a lot of
many
plenty of
show examples
 significant outputs.
Finally
, the parents can not offer
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
complete educational needs to
children
.
Submitted by canertiryaki on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: