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Band 7

Wild animals have no place in the 21st century, so protecting them is a waste of resources. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#animals #place #st #century #waste #resources
Some people argue that it is pointless to spend money to preserve wild
animals
 because they have no need for humans.
This
 essay with discuss some key reasons why I disagree with the point of view. From my perspective, it is unreasonable to insist that there is no place for other species in the 21st century. It is a fact that there has been plenty of room for us to exist side by side with wild
animals
 without destroying other species' habitats. Wrecking any square meter of land to feed or accommodate the world's population is non-essential. Most scientists indicated that humans are unable to live as a sole organism, and there was no compelling evidence proving that the existence of
animals
 has any detrimental impact on resident areas.
Moreover
, people have no right to encourage the extinction of any creatures
due to
 their individual benefits.
Also
, I am opposed to the idea that protecting
animals
 is a waste of resources.
Animals
 are one of the key factors in a natural ecological system,
then
 protecting
animals
 and their habitats is necessary for human survival.
As a result
, the extinction leads to damage to the food chain and the previous form of life,
in addition
, of course, to the loss of biodiversity.
Besides
, wildlife, zoos, and preservation areas that allow tourists to visit would generate a large amount of income each year for the countries in charge. Establishing some national conservation areas boosts ecotourism to observe
animals
 in the wild can be developed
further
.
This
 has been shown to create jobs in
such
 places as some National Park in Africa with safari tours. In conclusion, I believe that wild
animals
 always play a crucial role in the planet and humans take responsibility for conserving them as many different benefits.
Submitted by oanhhkpsy on

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Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that the introduction clearly presents the essay's position and that the conclusion effectively summarizes the argument. Consider using a broader range of linking words and organizational patterns to improve cohesion.
Task Achievement
Refine the thesis statement to clearly establish your position on the subject. It's also important to directly respond to the task by covering all aspects of the prompt. Make sure to illustrate your ideas with concrete examples and data where possible for a higher band score.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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