IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people feel that equality between the genders has already been achieved while others feel there is considerable progress to be made. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

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Accepting different kinds of
people
Use synonyms
 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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society is one of the hiccups of humanity that needs more understanding. Few individuals reckon that gender equality has already been achieved while others thought that it needs more effort to see its improvements. In
this
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 essay, I will discuss the different perspectives of how it has been successfully exercised and why it still needs progress.
Although
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, I personally consider that efforts are needed for its
further
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 development. The main reason why some
people
Use synonyms
 think that gender equality feels like it has been flourished because most of the population
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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 open-minded to the changes in the community.
For instance
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, some
of
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apply
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the restaurants are adding logos to their washroom signage that includes the lesbians and the gays to make them feel comfortable in their own space too.
Also
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, it is a good notion to acknowledge the
third
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 sex considering that their contribution to
the
Correct article usage
apply
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society has been exceptional especially
on
Change preposition
in
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 the fields of entertainment and fashion,
for example
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. Clearly, their sexuality did not stop them from being successful.
On the other hand
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, there
are
Change the verb form
is
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 still part of the population who believes that the difference between men and women
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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 inequitable. As an example,
in
Change preposition
apply
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corporate companies,
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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tend to hire more boys than girls provided that they are more capable of doing work and have less emotional attachments compared to the
other
Correct pronoun usage
others
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 believing that it allows them that they can lead
people
Use synonyms
 in accordance to their work standards only.
Therefore
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, women are being discriminated
for
Change preposition
against for
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 the assumption that their ability to lead is based on emotions and they are not excelling for that reason and it is not fair. In conclusion,
this
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 essay showed that some individuals do not share the same views when it comes to
the
Correct article usage
apply
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equal opportunities
of
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for
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 both sexes. In my own opinion, I think that
people
Use synonyms
 should be diverse and focus more
of
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on
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 the positive attributes
of
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apply
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each person can bring rather than judging their gender abilities.

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