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Band 6.5

Most countries spend much money on education as they start to realize the importance of education. In your opinion, which two subjects are the most important for young people and which one is least important. (Subjects : Literature, sports, mathematics, economics, physics, history, music, geography).

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Introduction
Most countries spend
much
Correct quantifier usage
a lot of
show examples
 money on
education
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 as they start to realize the importance of
education
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. In your opinion, which two
subjects
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 are the most important for young people and which one is least important?
Body paragraph 1
Education
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 plays a vital role in shaping the future of young people and the development of a nation. With increasing investment in
education
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, it is important to prioritize
subjects
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 that offer the greatest long-term benefit. In my opinion,
mathematics
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 and
physics
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 are the two most important
subjects
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 for young people today,
while
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music
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 is the least important in terms of core academic
education
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.
Body paragraph 2
Mathematics
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 is essential because it develops logical thinking and problem-solving skills. These abilities are fundamental not only in academic life but
also
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 in everyday decision-making.
Moreover
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, math is the foundation of many critical fields
such
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 as engineering, computer science, and finance. A strong understanding of
mathematics
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 allows students to pursue a wide range of high-demand careers in a modern economy.
Body paragraph 3
Similarly
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,
physics
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 is crucial as it explains the principles behind the technologies we use every day. It fosters scientific thinking and innovation, both of which are necessary for technological advancement. In an age of rapid digital and scientific growth,
physics
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education
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 prepares students for careers in engineering, renewable energy, and space exploration.
Body paragraph 4
On the other hand
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,
while
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music
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 enriches culture and creativity, it is less essential in the context of core academic
subjects
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. Most students do not pursue
music
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 professionally, and it usually does not contribute directly to economic or scientific progress.
Therefore
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,
although
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 it should remain part of a well-rounded
education
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, it need not be a priority for national investment.
Conclusion
In conclusion,
while
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 every subject has value, I believe that
mathematics
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 and
physics
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 should be given top priority in
education
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due to
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 their relevance to modern life and career development.
Music
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, though culturally important, is the least essential in terms of academic and economic impact.

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relevant specific examples
Consider providing specific examples or case studies to illustrate the impact and importance of mathematics and physics in real-world applications. This could enhance your argument.
introduction conclusion present
While your conclusion effectively summarizes your opinion, consider briefly restating the importance of these subjects on societal progress or technological growth for a stronger finish.
quality of argument
The essay presents a clear opinion supported by logical reasoning, addressing the prompt effectively and with a well-structured format.
depth of analysis
Your explanations of the importance of mathematics and physics are insightful and provide a solid basis for your arguments, demonstrating a good understanding of the subjects.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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