IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Every individual should have the right to end his or her own life.

#right #life
Normally each person should have
complete
Add an article
the complete
a complete
show examples
right
Fix the agreement mistake
rights
show examples
.
However
, some experts suspect
whether
Correct word choice
that
show examples
 every individual should have the
right
 to end his or her own
life
. To
this
 issue, many people support
this
 practice;
on the other hand
, several thinkers oppose it strongly.
To begin
 with, a lot of professionals agree that if anyone wants to exercise the
right
 to die, that person should be able to do so. The two most obviously important reasons are that
sometime
Correct your spelling
sometimes
show examples
 the patients do not want to suffer
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
extreme pain and that a large number of them can not pay
the
Change the word
their
show examples
 medical bills. They do not want their relatives to be sad or to carry the burden. My
neighbor
Change the spelling
neighbour
show examples
,
Sanuss
Correct your spelling
Sanus
,
for example
, suffered from
Add a hyphen
third-degree
show examples
third degree
Add a hyphen
third-degree
show examples
 cancer. He was in his deal bed for three
years
, crying day and night. His family spent a fortune
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 medical treatments and drugs. He wanted to
use
 the
right
 to end his
life
 but
the
Change the word
his
show examples
 relatives refused.
Finally
, he was allowed to
use
 the
right
 to die after
long
Correct article usage
a long
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
deal
Add an article
a deal
show examples
. If only he died earlier, he would not have to suffer and pay that much.
On the contrary
, many hopeful people do not support the
use
 of
right
Add an article
the right
show examples
 to die. They expect that after the long rest, the patients may recover on the doctor may find
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 better solution to solve
serious
Add an article
a serious
the serious
show examples
 health
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
. Eleven
years
 ago, a daughter,
Tida
, was hit by a car and lay in the bed unconsciously for two
years
. Everybody thought that it was a waste of time and many to keep
Tida
 alive. Yet, her
mother
 denied
to allow
Change the verb form
allowing
show examples
 anyone to end
Tida
’s
life
. Formerly,
Tida
 and her
mother
 loved to sing together, especially the song, Deck the hall, during Christmas. When Christmas came that year, the
mother
 played
this
 song loudly in the room where
Tida
 was. Suddenly, the
mother
 saw
the
Change the word
her
show examples
 lips of
Tida
 move. She called the doctor who encouraged the family to play that song for
Tida
. Two
years
 after that,
Tida
 gained move conscious.
Although
 the medical miracles are rare, my position is __ the individual to
use
 the
right
 to die. As long as that individual still breathes, that person should have faith and hope for
better
Add an article
a better
show examples
life
.
Submitted by PM on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: