IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

Should wealthy nations be required to share their wealth among poorer nations by providing such things as food and education? Or is it the responsibility of the governments of poorer nations to look after their citizens themselves?

#nations #wealth #food #education #responsibility #governments #citizens
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Nowadays, the need for rich regions to help poor regions, especially in the fields of food and education, emerges as a widely discussed issue.
While
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 some societies are at a very good point in terms of wealth, others have difficulties in meeting many needs. My opinion is that developed societies should share these resources with poor states, and I will try to give information about
this
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 perspective in
this
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 essay.
To begin
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 with, governments of poor nations should try to manage the resources and infrastructure they have correctly and fairly. The financial resources coming from here must be used to meet the people's most basic needs
such
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 as learning, health and food. The deficiencies at
this
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 point cause intense waves of migration around the world and indirectly create pressure on developed communities.
Additionally
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, support from developed regions will provide serious benefits to the future development of poor countries and will eliminate many negative situations before they occur.
In addition
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, at
this
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 point, the biggest responsibility falls on developed countries, and they must back the relevant countries with the experience they have gained in
this
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 journey of wealth. Establishing correct economic relations with them and carrying out various joint projects will make a great contribution and enable efficient knowledge transfer. The assistance provided will probably not only be support but will
also
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 support the establishment of deep and solid relationships. In conclusion, in order to ensure that the world's more livable infrastructures are used under equal conditions and that our future is sustainable, developed land should take the initiative in two basic issues and provide the necessary backing to the people in need. The best behaviour and kindness we will leave to future generations is to spread these to the grassroots.
Submitted by salihzekikoni on

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task response
Ensure that the essay fully addresses all aspects of the task and provides a clear position on the issue.
coherence cohesion
Use a wider variety of cohesive devices to show logical relationships between ideas and ensure the essay has a clear overall structure.
lexical resource
Expand the range of vocabulary used, incorporating more nuanced or precise language to express ideas.
grammatical range
Continue to work on sentence structure and grammatical accuracy to achieve a wider range and more complex structures.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • interconnected
  • global stability
  • economic self-sufficiency
  • sustainable development
  • capacity-building
  • foreign aid
  • mutual benefits
  • trade relations
  • long-term outcomes
  • dependency
  • moral obligation
  • alleviate poverty
  • humanitarian assistance
  • resource allocation
What to do next:
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