IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

People who decide on a career path early in their lives and keep to it are more likely to have a satisfying working life than those who change jobs frequently. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #career #path #lives #life #change #jobs
The issue of satisfying working life has polarized public opinion .Few folks opine that
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
 should
staying
Change the verb form
stay
be staying
show examples
 in
one
 job rather than they chinging the function's frequently serves the interest that it is
presance
Correct your spelling
presence
 in an advantageous way , while other cliques of men
divulde
Correct your spelling
divulge
divide
 that it is contemptible of society or people and only brings drawbacks with it .
Therefore
 , the main reason
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
this
 essay is
throw
Change the verb form
to throw
throwing
show examples
 light on the pros and the cons of
this
 dubious matter . At the start , there are prolific points to agree with the maritorious side which is
priority
Add an article
a priority
the priority
show examples
 . As we know , the work is
basis
Correct article usage
the basis
show examples
 person and
critical
Correct article usage
a critical
show examples
 reason for reaching the top . Actually , no
one
 can get
the
Change preposition
to the
show examples
 global stages without it .
Hence
 , stay in their job better than they change it . For an instance , Oman
give
Change the verb form
gives
show examples
their
Correct pronoun usage
its
show examples
 citizens only
one
 chance to work . Another positive outlook is comfort . In comparison , the people
those
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
who
working
Change the form of the verb
work
show examples
 in
one
 function were more relaxing than
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
other kind
Change the wording
another kind
other kinds
show examples
 because they are know all person right's . so they are
likewise
 children with their family .
By contrast
 , it is predicted that the thorns of
this
 area can not be neglected . The most worrying aspect is income . The earnings of those who work
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
several jobs
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 increasing . In
Correct your spelling
addition
additions
additiin
Correct your spelling
addition
, the other categories have
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 level of the income less than other employees . To summarize the composition , the essay explicated the advantages of satisfying working life , not only but it
also
 shed light on it is disadvantages . Regarding
this
 phenomenon ,
obviously
Add a comma
,obviously
show examples
 the pros outweigh the cons .
Submitted by khaloudobaid97 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: