Some people believe that the responsibility is with the government to control the rise in obesity in children, others think the parents are the cause. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #responsibility #government #control #rise #obesity #children #parents

There has been a controversy about whether the

government

should be responsible for the growth of child obesity. I think the

government

and the

parents

should share the responsibility, and my reasons will be explained in the following paragraphs.

First

, if it's the poor management in

food

safety control,

then

the

government

should be responsible for it. Take

chocolate

as an example. We all love eating

chocolate

. There are two types of

chocolate

in the world; one contains cocoa butter, and one contains cocoa butter replacer. It has been reported that cocoa butter replacer has rich fatty acids, which make a significant contribution to the growth of child obesity.

Therefore

this

chocolate

is banned in many countries;

nevertheless

, it is still rampant in some countries, like China. At

this

point, the

government

should better manage its

food

safety control.

Second

, the

government

should control the number of Fast

food

ads in public areas. It's commonplace that we constantly see many Fast

food

ads in shopping malls and on the main streets. Those ads invariably look fascinating and eye-catching. They exert an imperceptible influence on bystanders' minds to convince them to buy more junk

food

As a result

such

a phenomenon leads to a rise in child obesity.

On the other hand

, it's

parents

' job to parent their kids from getting fat.

For instance

, many schools ask

parents

to prepare lunch for their kids. It's common that some

parents

will put some snacks,

such

as chips, in their children's lunch boxes to save some time. As a consequence, children will gain weight by consuming snacks regularly unquestionably. In conclusion,

parents

and the

government

should work together to prevent kids from getting fat.

Submitted by junyiwu029 on Thu Jun 30 2022

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

281 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

4
band
Celebrities are usually famous for glamour and wealth rather than their achievements. Some say taking them as an example can be dangerous for young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Along with the development of social media and all kinds of platforms, individuals have more interation with celebrities however some of them are recognized by their wealth o prizes instead of achievement. In my perspective, the issues like that will be hazardous for youth, especially for the adolescent.
7
band
You live in a room in college which you share with another student. However, there are many problems with this arrangement and you find it very difficult to work. Write a letter to the accommodation officer at the college. In the letter, • describe the situation • explain your problems and why it is difficult to work • say what kind of accommodation you would prefer
I am writing to inform you of my dissatisfaction with my new room in college, which I have to share with another person. This new situation gives me some difficulties I cannot do my work perfectly anymore.
4.5
band
Some people think that the government should strictly control the supply of fresh water, as it is a limited resource, while others say that it should not be regulated. Discuss both sides/views and give your opinion.
because On the other hand, opponents of this idea might propose that To put in other words, they consider that Personally, I would argue in favor of seeing that For instance, In conclusion, although it is undeniable that I am of the opinion that for instance in order to they consider that fresh water is a finite natural resource, and doing so would ensure that it will be available for the increasing global population in the long run. the government should not be in charge of providing fresh water. instead of paying water bills to the government, individuals should opt for purchasing clean water from private companies. In this and age, , water purifiers and bottled water are sold by private enterprises, offering better tastes and quality as they use the most advanced innovations to source clean water. From this perspective, it is understandable why some would prefer the privatization of clean water to buying water from the government. the government controlling the supply of clean ...
8
band
You are taking a course at a local college. The deadline for your project was last week but you haven't finished it. Write a letter to your lecturer. In your letter introduce yourself explain why you haven't handed in the project yet request more time to do it.
My name is Leo Smith and I am a first-year student in your Marketing class at Capilano College. I am writing to you because I have a problem with the project you set about social media. The due date was last week but I'm afraid I haven't finished it yet. As you know, I have been absent from class for almost ten days with COVID-19 symptoms and I have not been attending lectures. I only managed to get the reading list from a friend and go to the library to do research yesterday. You will see from your records that I have never missed a deadline for an assignment so far during my course.
6.5
band
Some believe that more academic subjects such as chemistry, physics and history should be taught in schools, while others believe that students will derive more benefit from studying practical subjects, such as motor mechanics and cooking. Discuss both views and provide your own opinion with relevant examples.
The subjects that are taught at schools, either theoretical or practical, play an important role in students's lives. While certain people claim that academic lessons like chemistry are necessary to teach, I agree with those who believe that practical subjects like cooking are more essential.

Some people believe that the responsibility is with the government to control the rise in obesity in children, others think the parents are the cause. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Celebrities are usually famous for glamour and wealth rather than their achievements. Some say taking them as an example can be dangerous for young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that the government should strictly control the supply of fresh water, as it is a limited resource, while others say that it should not be regulated. Discuss both sides/views and give your opinion.

You are taking a course at a local college. The deadline for your project was last week but you haven't finished it. Write a letter to your lecturer. In your letter introduce yourself explain why you haven't handed in the project yet request more time to do it.