Everyone should stay at school until 18. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Some people say adolescents should complete at least a high school diploma before getting a job.

While

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it could be seen that staying in an academic environment until 18 brings many benefits to the youth,

this

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plan might not be suitable for everyone.

Therefore

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, I partially agree with that opinion. On the one hand, continuing education until the age of 18 offers numerous advantages for teenagers, preparing them for the labour market and exploring suitable careers.

Firstly

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, schools serve as invaluable platforms for skill development before

individuals

Use synonyms

fully mature. Beyond imparting traditional subjects, they foster social

skills

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, enabling students to communicate effectively, articulate their thoughts confidently, and cultivate meaningful connections. Schools, resembling miniature societies, expose students to diverse backgrounds and teach them to navigate varied social landscapes.

Moreover

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, teenagers may explore their passions during their academic pursuits, guiding their future

career

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navigation.

For instance

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, pursuing a

career

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as a medical professional,

such

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as a physician or pharmacist, requires excellent results in AP biology and chemistry classes, which are typically taught in a formal education.

On the other hand

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/ On the flip side, remaining in traditional school until the age of 18

also

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presents challenges. If

individuals

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discern their

career

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aspirations early on, investing time in compulsory subjects might be redundant.

For example

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instead

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of spending hours solving complicated geometry or algebra, athletes need more time to practice and master physical

skills

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for competitions; pianists prefer time practising sonata for their music performance.

Furthermore

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, some

individuals

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may harbour no inclination towards

further

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academic pursuits and may prefer entering the workforce early to earn a living as soon as they can. Many vocations/ vocational jobs,

such

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as those in the beauty industry, necessitate only a brief period of training / 3-6 months training.

Consequently

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, lingering in school and acquiring superfluous

skills

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may prove counterproductive. In conclusion,

whereas

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continuing education until the age of 18 equips

individuals

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with a versatile skill set essential for personal and professional growth, it may be deemed a superfluous endeavour if these

skills

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do not align with one's chosen

career

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path.

Hence

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, I believe each person deserves a dedication plan that best suits his or her own future intentions.

cathyngo1512Sun Jul 02 2023

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Coherence & Cohesion

Continue to use varied sentence structures to enhance the readability and flow of your argument.

Coherence & Cohesion

Incorporate a wider variety of linking phrases to connect ideas smoothly and improve the overall cohesion.

Task Achievement

Although your examples are relevant, try to include more detailed and specific instances to further strengthen your argument.

Task Achievement

Be careful with minor grammar and vocabulary errors, as improving these can make your writing more polished and professional.

Introduction & Conclusion

You effectively introduced and concluded your essay, effectively framing your argument.

Task Achievement

You've done well to present a nuanced view, addressing both sides of the argument.

Logical Structure

Your essay shows good logical progression and the paragraphs are well-organized.

16
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

361 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Peer pressure
Desensitize
Aggressive behavior
Neglect
Abuse
Supervision
Anti-bullying measures
Societal norms
Stereotypes
Dominance
Cyberbullying
Anonymity
Digital devices
Enforcement
Cultural tolerance

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Everyone should stay at school until 18. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

News stories on TV and in newspapers are very often accompanied by pictures. Some people say that these pictures are more effective than words. What is your opinion about this? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

In modern society, ambition is getting more and more important. How important is ambition for people to be successful in life? Is ambition a positive or negative characteristic? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

COins and paper money will soon be replaced by credit and back cards. DO you agree or disagree that eventually we will have a cashless society which will be safer and more convenient for everyone?

The use of social media, such as Facebook and Twitter, is replacing face-to-face contact in this century. Do you think the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?