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Band 6.5

Write about the following topic. Bullying is a big problem in many schools. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should write at least 254 words.

#topic #schools
In modern society,
violence
 in schools is rising and playground bullying seems to be increasing. The issue is whether or not
parents
 should deal with
this
 problem by teaching their
children
 to fight back. The arguments on both sides of
this
 debate need to be examined carefully. Many people believe that
violence
 only breeds
further
violence
. Evidence for
this
 is found in research which shows that
children
 who grow up in violent families often grow up to be violent themselves.
Furthermore
, some
children
 may enjoy the power associated with
violence
 and develop into bullies.
However
, there are examples of bullying being stopped
as a result
 of victims hitting back.
This
 shows that there are occasions when
violence
 may help to end bullying.
However
, looking at the issue in the long term, there is a strong case for supporting
parents
 who promote anti-violent behaviour. If
children
 can learn that there are other ways of solving disagreement,
then
 it is possible that when those
children
 become adults they will behave
similarly
 and try to resolve conflict through discussion and compromise rather than by force. In my
view
Add a comma
,view
show examples
this
 is a powerful argument for encouraging a non-violent approach to school bullies. Another aspect of
this
 issue is the fact that bullying occurs
in
Change preposition
during
show examples
 school time when
parents
 are not present.
Hence
, it could be argued that it is better for schools to deal with
this
 problem by promoting anti-bullying policies and offering support to victims.
Although
this
 makes practical sense, it ignores the fundamental effect that
parents
 can have on their
children
. In conclusion, despite there being circumstances when a violent response to bullying may be justified, it is my belief that teaching non-violent strategies is more productive in the long term.
Also
,
although
 schools have a role to play, it is the
parents
 who can have the most significant effect.
Submitted by tripwithyour on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Supervision
  • Unstructured times
  • Neglect
  • Cyberbullying
  • Prevalence
  • Awareness
  • Social group
  • Popularity
  • Recess
  • Addressing
  • Prevention
  • Safe environment
  • Intervention
  • Counseling
  • Support systems
  • Peer mediation
  • Anti-bullying campaigns
  • Zero-tolerance policies
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