MANY YOUNG PEOPLE SPEND MUCH OF THEIR FREE TIME IN SHOPPING MALLS.THIS HAS A NEGATIVE EFFECT ON THEM AND SOCIETY. TO WHAT EXTEND DO YOU AGREE OR DISAGREE

There is a view that going to shopping

malls

Use synonyms

has become one of the most common ways for young people to spend their free

time

Use synonyms

. Some claim that

this

Linking Words

habit can cause problems for both individuals and society.

While

Linking Words

some oppose

this

Linking Words

notion, I argue in favour because it can lead to unhealthy lifestyles and a focus on materialism.

Firstly

Linking Words

, spending too much

time

Use synonyms

in shopping

malls

Use synonyms

can affect young people’s personal development.

Instead

Linking Words

of using their free

time

Use synonyms

to study, do sports, or learn new skills, they often walk around

malls

Use synonyms

just for fun.

This

Linking Words

habit can lead to laziness and low motivation. In my country, it is essential for the younger generation to use their

time

Use synonyms

wisely to improve their future. Hanging out in

malls

Use synonyms

does not give them many benefits, and it can even cause them to waste money on things they do not need.

Secondly

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

trend can create a more materialistic society. When young people spend hours in shopping centres, they are surrounded by advertisements and expensive products.

This

Linking Words

can make them believe that success or happiness depends on what they buy.

As a result

Linking Words

, they may start comparing themselves to others and feel pressure to buy branded clothes or the latest phones. In a country where many families live with limited income,

this

Linking Words

can cause stress and social inequality. In conclusion,

although

Linking Words

shopping

malls

Use synonyms

can be a good place to relax and meet friends, I believe that spending too much

time

Use synonyms

there has a negative impact on both young people and society. It is better for the younger generation to focus on more useful and healthy activities that can help them grow and make a positive contribution to their community.

makemoneyizzy16

Jul 23, 2025

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

Make sure to give more specific examples to support your points. This can help the reader understand your ideas better.

coherence and cohesion

Try to use linking words to connect your ideas more smoothly. This can make your writing easier to follow.

coherence and cohesion

You have a clear introduction and conclusion that outline your position well.

task achievement

Your ideas about the effects of shopping on personal development and society are strong and relevant.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

286 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

retail outlets
consumerism
advertising
local businesses
neighborhood communities
sedentary lifestyle
obesity
socialize
amenities
economic growth
cultural homogenization
ecological footprint
entertainment
trends
brand loyalty
spending habits
mall culture
local shops
health implications
job opportunities
tourism
consumer debt
environmental impact
energy consumption
waste generation

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7.5
band
Nowadays, more and more children are being brought up in single parent families. What are the causes of this? What effects can be seen as a result of this?
The number of children who are being raised by single parents significantly increases these days. Many people believe it is caused by several issues in their families which in turn affects their kids directly. In this essay, both of the reasons and effects to the offspring will be outlined before reaching a conclusion.
6.5
band
Topic: Crime rate in most countries is often higher in urban areas than rural areas. why do you think that is? what can be done to reduce crime rate?
There is no denying the fact that the crime rate is a controversial matter to be discussed. While it is held belief that that rate is often higher in urban areas than in rural areas, there is also an argument that opposes it.
6
band
Computer and A.I.technology are increasingly being used for online education. Can artificial intelligence enchance the learning experience? Is this a positive or negative or negative development?
It is often supposed that electronic gadgets have bad influences on young children, however, several people claim that using electronic devices also brings both positive and negative impacts for children. This essay will offer a profound look into both sides of this issue.
6
band
Some people say a car is the best way to travel through a city while others support traveling with bicycles. Discuss both sides and share your opinion.
Choosing a vehicle to travel around the city is a controversial issue. Some people say that traveling by car is the best choice. Others believe that it would be better to use bicycles. There are different views on both sides, which I will elaborate on below.
7.5
band
Some people think that the increasing use of computer and mobile phones nowadays has unwanted effects on the young people reading and writing skills. To what extent do you agree or disagree
It is argued that the increase in the usage of computers and mobile phones has an adverse impact on the reading and writing skills of youngsters. I, firmly agree, with this statement as it diminishes the traditional way of writing and leaves a detrimental impact on their health.

MANY YOUNG PEOPLE SPEND MUCH OF THEIR FREE TIME IN SHOPPING MALLS.THIS HAS A NEGATIVE EFFECT ON THEM AND SOCIETY. TO WHAT EXTEND DO YOU AGREE OR DISAGREE

Fully explain your ideas

Nowadays, more and more children are being brought up in single parent families. What are the causes of this? What effects can be seen as a result of this?

Topic: Crime rate in most countries is often higher in urban areas than rural areas. why do you think that is? what can be done to reduce crime rate?

Computer and A.I.technology are increasingly being used for online education. Can artificial intelligence enchance the learning experience? Is this a positive or negative or negative development?

Some people say a car is the best way to travel through a city while others support traveling with bicycles. Discuss both sides and share your opinion.

Some people think that the increasing use of computer and mobile phones nowadays has unwanted effects on the young people reading and writing skills. To what extent do you agree or disagree