IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

some people argue that strict punishment for driving ofenses is that only effective way towards improving safety on the road. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #punishment #ofenses #safety #road
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is believed by few
people
Use synonyms
 that giving strict punishment for disobeying
rules
Use synonyms
 of driving is the best way for the safety on the road. I largely disagree with said notion due to four on
traffic
Use synonyms
education
Use synonyms
 as well as
government
Use synonyms
 spending should be reduced. To commence with the view of disagreement that
government
Use synonyms
 should provide
traffic
Use synonyms
education
Use synonyms
 in schools and colleges. To elaborate
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
, because of having enough knowledge regarding
rules
Use synonyms
 and regulations
people
Use synonyms
 become aware
about
Change the preposition
of
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
driving which can lead to happy and safe life.
For instance
Linking Words
, a survey
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
conducted by
traffic
Use synonyms
 management of
canada
Change the capitalization
Canada
show examples
 found that
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
areas schools and colleges
offer
Wrong verb form
offering
show examples
 driving
education
Use synonyms
 had 52%
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
 cases of
accident
Fix the agreement mistake
accidents
show examples
. If
masses
Correct article usage
the masses
show examples
 have accurate knowledge about driving
then
Linking Words
 they can drive safely on roads.
Further
Linking Words
 strengthening the views by reducing
government
Use synonyms
 spending,
people
Use synonyms
 can have fear of mishappening. To explicate it, because of less support from authority by minimising the amount of money to overcome the less
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
infrastructure individuals not only pay attention
towards
Change preposition
to
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
safety but
also
Linking Words
 obey the
rules
Use synonyms
 and regulations. To epitome, a headline of " The
tribones
Correct your spelling
tribunes
tribes
" showed that
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
canada
Change the capitalization
Canada
show examples
 do not offer support for less
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
infrastructure and injuries by which cases of road accident declined to 43% during 2022.
As a result
Linking Words
, by
assist
Add an article
the assist
show examples
 of
Use synonyms
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 have to face many financial issues due to mishappening on roads. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
traffic
Use synonyms
education
Use synonyms
 and less
government
Use synonyms
 spending can aware
people
Use synonyms
 among
importance
Correct article usage
the importance
show examples
 of
rules
Use synonyms
 and regulations for safe driving.
Submitted by rajpalkaurchd on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: