IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some employers offer their employees subsidised membership of gyms and sports clubs, believing that this will make their staff healthier and thus more effective at work. Other employers see no benefit in doing so.

#employers #offer #employees #membership #gyms #sports #clubs #staff #work #benefit
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Nowadays companies or employers try to encourage their staff through different types of offers like providing subsidised participation and so on. While other groups of people believe that it has no benefits for them.
This
Linking Words
 essay sheds light on both views and a conclusion will be given in the forthcoming
paragraphes
Correct your spelling
paragraphs
. To commence with, membership
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 any
sports
Use synonyms
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
 is beneficial for
employees
Use synonyms
 in many ways. Workers who have abilities
of playing
Replace the preposition
to play
show examples
sports
Use synonyms
 but
Correct your spelling
due
dur
Correct your spelling
due
 to lack
of
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
experience and equipment
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
did not do. So,
this
Linking Words
 will provide them
an
Add the preposition
with an
show examples
 opportunity to play. There are chances that
employees
Use synonyms
 may play well and reach
at
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
international
Add an article
the international
show examples
 competition which could beneficial for
Use synonyms
company
Add an article
the company
a company
show examples
. Healthy and fit body satisfied
employees
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 and it
also
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increase
Change the verb form
increases
show examples
strength
Add an article
the strength
show examples
 of working in
employees
Use synonyms
that is
Linking Words
 helpful for
achieveing
Correct your spelling
achieving
 target of
Use synonyms
company
Add an article
the company
show examples
. On
other hand
Change the wording
another hand
other hands
show examples
, the most significant and major thing is that providing membership
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
sports
Use synonyms
club
Fix the agreement mistake
clubs
show examples
 might distract workers from their job and work which may result in
drastic
Add an article
a drastic
show examples
 decline in work output.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, there are many
employees
Use synonyms
 who are not interested in any
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
 game or exercise that will no
useful
Replace the word
use
show examples
 for them.
Employees
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 are interested in financial rewards,
bonuses
Correct word choice
and bonuses
show examples
 which could improve their lifestyle.
In addition
Linking Words
, offers like
on the job
Add a hyphen
on-the-job
show examples
 training or day release programmes help
employees
Use synonyms
 to improve their knowledge and could be innovative
Linking Words
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 is beneficial for
Use synonyms
company
Correct article usage
the company
show examples
 and
employees
Use synonyms
 could get better chances to improve their post in
Use synonyms
company
Add an article
the company
a company
show examples
. For
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
example, a record from CNC newspaper 45.7%
Use synonyms
employees
Change preposition
of employees
show examples
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 attracted by
offer
Change the form of the verb
offers
show examples
 regarding financial rewards. To conclude, there
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 no disadvantage to
offer
Wrong verb form
offering
show examples
 job training but
subsidise
Wrong verb form
subsidising
show examples
membership
Correct article usage
the membership
show examples
 of
sports
Use synonyms
 clubs do have
negative
Add an article
a negative
show examples
 impact on
Use synonyms
company
Add an article
the company
show examples
.
Submitted by dhruvp1166 on

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Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

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