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Band 4.5

Some people say that computer have made life easier and more convenient. Other people say that computers have made life more complex and stressful. Discuss and give your opinion.

#people #computer #life #computers
The word computer has become a household name across the globe in the 21st century. The usage of
computers
 has rapidly risen from 2000 in India and ever since
this
 has become very essential and important part of everyone day to day work. The usage of
computers
 has brought a revolution in all forms of sectors ,especially in the fields of education, software and banking sectors. In the present ,
situation
Add an article
a situation
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 nearly 90% of the
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
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are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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 carried out on
cmputers
Correct your spelling
computers
 alone and
this
 shows how
the
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apply
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society has adopted
the
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apply
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technology in their respective fields.
Secondly
, I would like to give my opinion on how
this
 latest
machine made
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machine-made
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life
 easier and more convenient for people working in the banking sector.Back in the 1980's the
then
 Prime Minister of India, Smt. Indira Gandhi
has
Unnecessary verb
apply
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nationalized the banks across the country and she emphasized
on
Change preposition
apply
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using
computers
 in the baking sector. In early 2000 ninety
percent
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per cent
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 of the banks in India
have
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apply
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adopted the digital banking system and which helped them to provide more transparent, convenient and efficient services to their loyal customers.The usage of
computers
 has brought
bank
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banks
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at
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to
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 the
Correct your spelling
doorstep
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door step
Correct your spelling
doorstep
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 of
the
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apply
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customers where they can easily access
to
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apply
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their
account
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accounts
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 by sitting at home. Apart from the positive side of
this
 digital ,
machine
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,machine
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 there are some disadvantages that I would like to express my views where the employee faces difficulty while working on
this
 machine. As I mentioned earlier everything is in our lap to operate but most
of
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apply
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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software employees are working in
a stressful environments
Correct the article-noun agreement
a stressful environment
stressful environments
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 where they need to carry their laptops with them wherever they go and
this
 kills their private
life
 and
also
 affects their professional
life
.
Finally
, in my opinion
computer
Correct article usage
the computer
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 has really made
life
 easier
to
Change preposition
for
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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people in saving their time and bringing the world to their doorstep to access all kinds of things that are available globally.
Submitted by nvkc83 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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