Due to the influence of worldwide media such as television and computers, the gap between cultures is decreasing. The introduction of this global culture is a great benefit to the world. To what extent do you agree with this viewpoint?

These days, the development of the
media
in terms of television and laptops closes up the disparity between various cultures and traditions globally.
Consequently
, these provide numerous advantages to humanity. In
this
essay, the advantages of the
media
will be presented to support my agreement with the statement.
To begin
with, television enables
people
to explore the world through the screen as it shows foreign TV programs and movies, which necessarily input their
culture
and livelihood.
Therefore
,
people
who watch the movies can experience the
culture
of
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
particular country,
although
they've never been there.
For example
, my sister is very addicted to Korean drama, apart from remembering the
name
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names
show examples
of the actors, she
also
knows about the history of the country, and the well-being of Korean
people
, and even understands the Korean language.
Hence
, TV is considered a beneficial medium
to learn
Change preposition
for learning
show examples
about the
culture
of other countries.
Moreover
, computers and smartphones connected to the internet allow citizens to keep connecting with others around the world.
As a result
,
people
can exchange their
culture
and knowledge through online chatting, social
media
, and dating
application
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applications
show examples
. To illustrate, I can
skype
Capitalize word
Skype
show examples
with many international friends who live
aboard
Rephrase
abroad
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, I can watch celebrities'
life
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lives
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on Facebook live, and I can date strangers from abroad. In
this
way, the gap between cultures is dramatically reduced because the
media
facilitate
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facilitates
show examples
us to connect with others.
To conclude
,
according to
the aforementioned advantages of modern television, I definitely agree with the
viewpoints
Fix the agreement mistake
viewpoint
show examples
that the existence of these
media
leads to a reduction in cultural disparity in the modern world, and the more developed technology, the closer we are.
Submitted by pantamitsaekong on

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task response
Overall, your essay adequately addresses the given prompt, but there are some areas for improvement. Read the prompt carefully and ensure that all aspects of the topic are addressed in the essay.
coherence cohesion
Your essay demonstrates a logical structure and presents clear and comprehensive ideas. To further improve, ensure that your introduction clearly states the main points you will discuss and that your conclusion restates your agreement with the viewpoint.

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