IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

In the future more people will choose to go on holiday in their own country and not travel abroad on holiday. Do you agree or disagree?

#future #people #holiday #country #travel
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
When considering some facts,
people
Use synonyms
 will select to stay in their own
country
Use synonyms
 without touring abroad. Owing to their busy life schedule, cost of travelling and lack of time more
people
Use synonyms
 prefer to stay in their home
country
Use synonyms
. I strongly agree with the given statement and
this
Linking Words
 essay would discuss what are the advantages and disadvantages of
this
Linking Words
 scenario.
Firstly
Linking Words
, the majority of
people
Use synonyms
 spend busy life schedules.
Although
Linking Words
, they are not able to waste time
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
travelling.
In addition
Linking Words
 to that,
people
Use synonyms
 are not expecting to get risk in different cultures, new foods, and weather conditions.
For instance
Linking Words
, if you select a place to stay abroad, you will be able to
possibility
Replace the word
possibly
show examples
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
expose fresh foods,
people
Use synonyms
 and weather like snow.
Accordingly
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 might be expected to travel within their known
country
Use synonyms
 without facing any threat.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the hospitality service will be improved by
local
Correct article usage
the local
show examples
 tourism industry
with
Change preposition
by
show examples
 providing luxury class facilities in the hotels.
Moreover
Linking Words
, leisure activities will be played
vital
Add an article
a vital
show examples
 role in
near
Correct article usage
the near
show examples
 future.
Therefore
Linking Words
, local travel will be
advantage
Add an article
an advantage
show examples
 because of these extended features.
For example
Linking Words
, the local tourism field provides exciting activities to the travellers
such
Linking Words
 as rafting, cycling
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
Add an article
the hill
a hill
show examples
hill
Fix the agreement mistake
hills
show examples
, hiking and various adventure programmes.
However
Linking Words
, more
people
Use synonyms
 prefer to travel
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
own
Correct pronoun usage
their own
show examples
country
Use synonyms
 rather than visit overseas. To conclude, local travelling leads to
save
Wrong verb form
saving
show examples
 money and
reduce
Wrong verb form
reducing
show examples
 risk.
Further
Linking Words
 to mention,
people
Use synonyms
 who refuse to interact with fresh society, location and food are preferred to local tourism. In my view, the local travelling will be the major cluster of travelling and there is a possibility to reduce the overseas travelling.
Submitted by natha92714 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • domestic tourism
  • international travel
  • cultural exchange
  • national pride
  • affordability
  • convenience
  • ecotourism
  • heritage sites
  • local businesses
  • comfort zone
What to do next:
Look at other essays: