Some people think young people should follow the traditions of their society. Others think that they should be free to behave as individuals. Discuss both views and give your opinion
Various controversies have emerged as to whether young individuals should abide by cultural conventions.
While
some people insist that youngsters should not forget their cultural heritage, I believe that they should be free about which lifestyle they want.
On the one hand, there are many traditional customs that are diminishing nowadays. If the youth do not continue to follow these traditions, they might be forgotten and vanish from this
world permanently. However
, it’s vital to sustain these traditions since they ensure the cultural diversity of this
world. Take the harvest festival of indigenous people in Taiwan as an instance. Paralleled with civilization, few youngsters are willing to participate in this
event, instead
spending their time working or travelling. This
will jeopardize the preservation of indigenous traditions and dwindle the variety of cultures.
On the other hand
, every individual should have the right to determine their lifestyle. Since everyone can live only once, none of us should be restricted by the conventions in society. The traditional rules are usually old-school and useless in modern environments. These rules not only prevent the next generation from creativity but also
limit them from the opportunity of broadening their horizons. From my perspective, I highly agree that we should not insist the youth obey the traditional restrictions.
By way of conclusion, though there are many customs that need to be preserved in our society, I firmly believe that youngsters have the right to choose whether to obey local conventions or follow their heart to be themselves.Submitted by weber61543 on
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Task Achievement
To fully engage with the task and ensure a comprehensive treatment of the topic, consider offering counterarguments or deeper analyses in support of your viewpoint. This will enrich the discussion and showcase your ability to evaluate complex ideas.
Coherence & Cohesion
To enhance coherence, you could further elaborate on examples by providing more specific details or explaining their broader significance. This would strengthen your argumentative structure and clarify the relevance of each example to your argument.
Coherence & Cohesion
Consider diversifying your sentence structures and utilizing a wider range of cohesive devices to link ideas more smoothly across the essay. This can add sophistication to your writing and improve the overall flow of your arguments.
Coherence & Cohesion
Your introduction effectively sets up the debate, presenting a clear thesis statement that guides the reader through the essay.
Task Achievement
You have done well in discussing both sides of the argument before stating your own opinion, which maintains a balanced approach as required by the essay task.
Coherence & Cohesion
The conclusion successfully summarizes the argument, reinforcing your stance while acknowledging the complexity of the issue. This closure strengthens the overall impact of your essay.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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