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Band 7

Planting trees is very important for the environment. Some people say trees should be planted in the vacant areas of city and towns, while others say housing facilities should be built instead. Do you agree or disagree?

#trees #environment #people #areas #city #towns #facilities
There has been a controversy about whether the vacant areas of
cities
 and towns should be left for
trees
 or other housing facilities. I think planting
trees
 is of utmost importance, and my reasons will be explained in the following paragraphs. First and foremost.
Trees
 can absorb
co2
Correct your spelling
CO2
show examples
 and release oxygen. Take
cities
 as an example. As we know,
cities
 are constantly populous; they have all sorts of vehicles and factories which produce countless carbon dioxide every day.
As a result
 of snorting a large amount of carbon dioxide daily, the residents will suffer from some illnesses,
such
 as headaches and high blood pressure. At
this
 point,
trees
 can alleviate the situation to a large extent.
Trees
 can absorb carbon dioxide through photosynthesis and generate oxygen. Thanks to the contribution of
trees
, we can live in a relatively healthy environment.
Second,
trees
 can adjust the temperature in the
cities
. It's commonplace that
cities
 are repleted with skyscrapers, which are covered with
glasses
Fix the agreement mistake
glass
show examples
. In summer, those glasses absorb the sunlight and reflect it to somewhere in the city.
As a consequence
, it is easy to raise the temperature in
cities
 and cause fires.
On the contrary
,
trees
 can block the sunlight and evaporate the water vapours which they absorb from the roots to decrease the temperature.
Third,
trees
 can lessen the sound noise in the
cities
.
Due to
 the global population increase, more people tend to live in
cities
. As a by-product, the number of vehicles and factories will rise, and the city will become extremely noisy. At
this
 point,
trees
 can use their leaves and underfur to dampen the sound. In conclusion, I think it's necessary to have some
trees
 in
cities
.
Submitted by junyiwu029 on

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coherence and cohesion
Consider sharpening the structure of your essay by explicitly linking each paragraph to your overall thesis. This will enhance the logical flow of your argument.
task achievement
Try to include more specific examples and case studies that reinforce your argument. This would showcase a deeper engagement with the topic.
task achievement
Ensure that each argument ties directly back to the prompt to maintain focus and clarity throughout. This will help solidify your position on the issue.
task achievement
The essay presents clear and comprehensive ideas, effectively arguing for the importance of planting trees in urban areas.
coherence and cohesion
Main points are well-supported, highlighting benefits such as air purification and temperature regulation.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction and conclusion effectively frame the argument, providing a solid foundation and finishing touch to the essay.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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