Some people think it is a better way to leave their home country to improve their work and living opportunities, while others think staying in their own country is a better choice. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #home #country #work #opportunities #choice

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Nowadays,

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

most

Change preposition

apply

show examples

people are looking to provide themselves with better

job

Use synonyms

opportunities and they prefer to have

decent

Correct article usage

a decent

show examples

job

Use synonyms

and income

Correct quantifier usage

apply

show examples

First

Linking Words

of all,

however

Linking Words

, it is rely on the personality and spirit of individuals. In

this

Linking Words

essay, I'll deal with the arguments of the two groups and share my viewpoint.

Firstly

Linking Words

, I will describe the difference between staying in our own country and going to a new land and

secondly

Linking Words

, I will share the idea of why it is necessary to leave the

place

Use synonyms

where we were born and

going

Wrong verb form

show examples

the

Correct article usage

show examples

new

place

Use synonyms

. To commence with, definitely, going to a new country is accompanied by different experiences. We see different people from various cultures, particularly, in the work. It makes us come out of our safe zone and experience the new world. Stepping into the land of the unknown makes us flourish

our

Change preposition

in our

show examples

own abilities.

Additionally

Linking Words

, in many countries haven’t appropriate

job

Use synonyms

opportunities in order to

Add the comma(s)

,in

show examples

fact, the person

have

Change the verb form

has

show examples

to go

Change preposition

to other

show examples

other

Correct quantifier usage

another

show examples

country or

new

Correct article usage

a new

show examples

place

Use synonyms

For instance

Linking Words

, there

aren’t no

Rewrite the sentence

aren’t any

are no

show examples

jobs related to my field of study in our small town because I have to go to a

place

Use synonyms

where I can find a decent

job

Use synonyms

. On other hand, staying in the same

place

Use synonyms

we were born we remain dependent while we as independent and free human beings have to have different experiences.

For example

Linking Words

experience

Wrong verb form

experiencing

show examples

life away from family and friends

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

causes

Correct pronoun usage

show examples

find

Fix the infinitive

to find

show examples

new friends.

Also

Linking Words

, we get to know new employers

that

Correct word choice

so that

show examples

we can better understand our own interests and abilities. In conclusion,

generally

Add a comma

,generally

show examples

I believe leaving and going to another

place

Use synonyms

to find a

job

Use synonyms

is a step forward. I recommend that people do it if possible. Because it's definitely risky.

Submitted by sania.nazari on Mon Jul 04 2022

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
19
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

294 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

professional growth
quality of life
stronger economies
employment opportunities
advancement opportunities
emotional bonds
cultural ties
familiar environment
contributing to
local economy
personal aspirations
cultural identity

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7
band
As most people spend a major part of their adult life at work, job satisfaction is an important element of individual well-being. What factors contribute to job satisfaction? How realistic is the expectation of job satisfaction for all workers?
There is no doubt that most adults spend the majority of their day all work. Thus, it is extremely important that their job is both a reward and fulfillment. I will examine these factors related to job satisfaction and how realistic these factors are.
5
band
New technologies have changed the way children spend their free time. Do you think the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?
It is a known fact that technological innovations have revolutionised the way younger generation utilise their spare time. While there are a few benefits, the drawbacks exceed them and will be discussed further.
4.5
band
Some people think that sports involving violence, such as boxing and martial arts, should be banned from TV as well as from international sporting competitions. To what extent do you agree?h
The violence become widespread in many parts of the world, Thu a lot of people think that the main reason is international sport of martial arts. I partially agree with this view, especially among children. In this essay will debate the side effects of material arts adding, the advantages.
4.5
band
Some people think that children should start school at a very early age, but others believe that chilren should go to school until they are older. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
school is a highly subjective discussion point. However, from prior experience, it is more beneficial to begin intuitions at an younger, despite those who believe that a mature age is suitable for your offspring.
5
band
Some people think that the main factors influencing a child's development these days are things such as television, friends, and music. Others believe that the family still remains more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Television, friends, music, and family is a few factors that involved in a child's growth. These factors has been a debatable issue since there are two different views on the most important factors of the development of children nowadays. One of which says the day-to-day thing that the children experiences such as television, friends, and music are the main factors, and the other says children' families still play a huge part in their development.

Some people think it is a better way to leave their home country to improve their work and living opportunities, while others think staying in their own country is a better choice. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

As most people spend a major part of their adult life at work, job satisfaction is an important element of individual well-being. What factors contribute to job satisfaction? How realistic is the expectation of job satisfaction for all workers?

New technologies have changed the way children spend their free time. Do you think the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people think that sports involving violence, such as boxing and martial arts, should be banned from TV as well as from international sporting competitions. To what extent do you agree?h

Some people think that children should start school at a very early age, but others believe that chilren should go to school until they are older. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people think that the main factors influencing a child's development these days are things such as television, friends, and music. Others believe that the family still remains more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.