Some people say that art, music, and drama are also important as other subject in the primary level Do you agree or disagree.
It is believed by some individuals that art, music and drama are as crucial as other
subjects
in elementary school. In this
essay, I completely agree with this
statement because this
can help children discover their talents at an early age and can improve their confidence matched also
.
To begin
with, one of the primary reasons is that creative subjects
have a significant role as other subjects
subject
at primary school, Correct word choice
apply
this
allows offspring to find out they are potential capacity. Moreover
, academy time is convenient for them to know about which subject
are more interested in as they can identify their talents with the help of extracurricular activities such
as Cricket, Football and hockey. For instance
, my elder brother,
was studying at elementary school at that time he was not getting good scores in another Remove the comma
apply
subject
, and was fascinated by music, he was singing a song in front of the audience and his voice was melodious, at
present, he is still singing Change preposition
apply
a songs
at countryside he Correct the article-noun agreement
songs
a song
earn
handsome capital. As it is proved that other Change the verb form
earns
subjects
are not much essential for the children those kids are not interested in another subject
.
Music, art, and drama subjects
are also
supported to boost their confidence at a high level of the student, the reason for this
can be how performing in front of lots of people, it is increased confidence level at a high level. For example
, a plethora number of psychologists suggest to the students who are struggling with social anxiety, my
brother-in-law, was doing good Correct pronoun usage
that my
active
when he was studying Replace the word
activity
in
recently time he was Change preposition
apply
doing
Unnecessary verb
apply
a
performing a Gujarati serial. I must say that other Correct article usage
apply
subjects
are as much
crucial Fix the agreement mistake
apply
as well as
other sports activities such
as Kabaddi, Volleyball, and Handball.
To sum up
, for the reasons stated above, the creative subject
is more convenient compared to other types of the subject
from my point of view. This
can individuals find out their actual talents at a young age, therefore
it has been a great benefit for the children who are much
fascinated about their skills it can make a career in their life.Correct quantifier usage
apply
Submitted by praveenmodi28596 on
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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph clearly supports the main argument. Some parts of your essay seem tangential and disrupt the flow of your argument.
task achievement
Polish the essay for grammatical clarity and language precision. Try to use varied sentence structures and correct minor grammar mistakes to make your writing more professional and easier to understand.
task achievement
Strengthen your supporting evidence by providing more precise and developed examples. Also, relate the examples back to the main point to reinforce your arguments.
coherence cohesion
The essay has clear introduction and conclusion sections, which frame your arguments well.
task achievement
Your main points are identified and supported with examples.
task achievement
You have attempted to provide relevant examples to support your main ideas, which is a positive step towards achieving a balanced argument.