IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some People believe that there will be a reduction in air travel in the future. Do you think that this trend is positive or negative development?

It is speculated that travelling by
planes
Fix the agreement mistake
plane
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 will become a less common practice moving forward. In my view,
this
Linking Words
 potential change can benefit the environment but harm certain industries. Several benefits could result from a decline in the sum and frequency of
transport
Use synonyms
. The most obvious advantage would be a massive reduction in the total carbon emissions that planes are responsible for. It is common knowledge that the level of contamination
aircraft
Use synonyms
 cause is next to impossible to offset through any measures
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 the conventional method of planting more trees does not seem to do any good.
Therefore
Linking Words
, the decrease in the
figure
Check wording
number
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 of times
aircraft
Use synonyms
 fly can go a long way in reducing their carbon footprint.
Further
Linking Words
, when
Use synonyms
aircraft
Correct article usage
an aircraft
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crash
Fix the agreement mistake
crashes
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, the death toll normally exceeds hundreds, and fewer
transport
Use synonyms
would mean
Wrong verb form
means
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 fewer casualties of
this
Linking Words
 sort. Because people would start relying more on safer modes of
transport
Use synonyms
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
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 as trains
for
Punctuation problem
, for
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 their long travels.
However
Linking Words
, a drop in the total of the domestic and international shuttle would
also
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 bring about some challenges. The first issue driven by
this
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 change would be the increased difficulty during long-distance journeys. The fewer trips would naturally lead to staggering costs of flight and force middle and lower-class passengers to either drive or take trains or coaches when travelling to far-flung places.
This
Linking Words
 would undoubtedly cost people more in terms of time and money.
Moreover
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, industries including tourism and postal services that rely on frequent
transport
Use synonyms
 would
also
Linking Words
 struggle as the cost of their services would rise dramatically
leading
Punctuation problem
, leading
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 to less profit.
As a consequence
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, mass-scale lay-offs by companies in these sectors could result from
this
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. Dm for personal classes In conclusion, a decline in air
transport
Use synonyms
 could lead to improved air quality globally
as
Punctuation problem
, as
show examples
aircraft
Use synonyms
 are among the most hazardous air polluters.
Nonetheless
Linking Words
, companies working in the fields of tourism and shipping would suffer severely from diminishing profit margins
due to
Linking Words
this
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 change.

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task response
Be clear in your opening. State your view in one line and say why. Then give 2 or 3 reasons with a small example for each.
coherence
Put one main idea in each paragraph. Start with a short sentence that tells what the paragraph is about.
coherence
Use linking words to show flow, such as but, also, however, so. This helps the reader move from one idea to the next.
task response
Check facts and keep ideas easy to trust. If you mention deaths or costs, make them simple and plausible.
grammar
Watch grammar. Small mistakes like 'aircraft crash' and 'the number of times planes fly' can be fixed.
content
The essay shows a clear view that less air travel can help the air and the world.
structure
There is good use of linking words to show contrast and addition.
content
The topic and the task are handled, with an ending that restates the view.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • reduce
  • travel
  • air
  • future
  • less
  • more
  • positive
  • negative
  • development
  • climate
  • health
  • money
  • jobs
  • work
  • life
  • world
  • policy
  • train
  • plane
  • online
  • meeting
  • energy
  • cost
  • time
  • idea
  • solution
  • problem
  • change
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