Advertising aimed at children should be banned. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Many
children
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are exposed to a large number of
advertisements
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in the modern world. As these messages often encourage the purchase of snacks, toys and video games, I believe that advertising aimed at
children
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should be strictly regulated and, in some cases, banned. One reason is that tight control over advertising can stop
children
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from pestering parents to buy unnecessary products. Young
children
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are usually not cost-conscious, and many parents are inclined to satisfy their material desires.
As a result
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,
children
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who are repeatedly exposed to commercial messages may become obsessed with branded toys, fashionable items and other expensive goods, placing financial pressure on low-income families. Restricting
such
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advertising can
therefore
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protect both
children
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’s values and family budgets. Another reason is that some
advertisements
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are associated with unhealthy habits and behavioural problems. It is common for
children
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to consume fast food after seeing it promoted every day, and some may become overly absorbed in violent electronic games marketed to them. In the long run, these influences may damage both physical health and emotional development. Admittedly, not all
advertisements
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are harmful. Some promote nutritious food
such
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as milk and cereal,
while
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others introduce books, games and toys of educational value.
In addition
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, parents may become aware of useful products that they were previously unfamiliar with.
For
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this
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reason, an absolute ban is unnecessary. In conclusion,
advertisements
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directed at
children
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should be tightly controlled whenever they promote products that are harmful to
children
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,
although
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exceptions can be made for
advertisements
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that clearly benefit their growth and learning.

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task response
For task response, your answer is clear and you give your view from the start. To reach a higher score, add one more clear example, maybe about a real ad or a clear case of harm to children.
task response
For task response, you discuss both sides, which is good. But your main view could be even stronger in the middle paragraphs, so the degree of agreement is more exact.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, the essay is easy to follow and each paragraph has one main idea. To improve, you can link some ideas more smoothly with a few simple words like 'also', 'because', or 'for example'.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, your conclusion matches your introduction well. To get a higher band, make sure each main point has a little more support or detail.
task response
Task response is strong because you answer the question fully and keep your opinion clear.
task response
Task response is good because you include the other side and explain why a full ban is not needed.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion are strong because the essay has a clear introduction, body, and conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion are good because each paragraph stays on one main point and the order of ideas makes sense.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • behave
  • better
  • punished
  • rewarded
  • believe
  • effective
  • arguing
  • immediately
  • unwanted
  • fear
  • pain
  • good
  • actions
  • praise
  • treated
  • learn
  • positive
  • feedback
  • happy
  • feel
  • repeat
  • future
  • create
  • problems
  • rather
  • learn
  • wrong
  • caught
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