some people thing the sense of competition should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to co-operate rather than compete become more useful adults. discuss on both views.
The upbringing of
children
is a contentious issue, with divergent views on the role of competition
and cooperation
. Parents and educators debate whether instilling a competitive spirit or fostering cooperative values is more beneficial for a child's development. This
essay will explore both perspectives, examining the arguments for and against competition
in childhood.
Proponents of competition
argue that it fosters motivation, encouraging children
to strive for excellence and rewarding top achievers. Healthy competition
, they contend, maintains enthusiasm and zeal for learning, preventing educational experiences from becoming mundane. For instance
, sports competitions provide a platform for children
to develop essential skills like teamwork, strategy, and resilience. By competing, children
learn to cope with success and failure, developing a growth mindset.
However
, critics of competition
highlight its potential drawbacks. When peers compete, they may resort to unethical means, such
as cheating, to emerge victorious. Persistent loss despite effort can also
lead to demotivation. In contrast
, cooperative learning and group work cultivate essential attributes like respect, mutual support, and tolerance. For example
, collaborative projects in schools encourage children
to share ideas, listen to others, and work towards a common goal, fostering empathy and social skills.
To sum up
, both competition
and cooperation
have merits. While
competition
drives individual achievement, cooperation
promotes social skills and empathy. A balanced approach, tailored to specific situations, ensures that children
acquire essential moral values and ethics. By integrating competition
and cooperation
, parents and educators can foster resilient, empathetic, and collaborative individuals equipped to navigate an increasingly complex world.Submitted by drnivyamohan1992 on
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coherence cohesion
Further elaborate on the conclusion by summarizing the main points more explicitly, ensuring the reader understands the complete scope of comparisons made between competition and cooperation.
task achievement
Explore additional perspectives or examples, such as cultural or societal impacts, to deepen the discussion on how competition and cooperation are valued differently across cultures.
task achievement
Ensure grammatical accuracy, such as correcting 'thing' to 'think' in the topic sentence for clarity.
introduction conclusion present
The essay presents a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively setting the context for the discussion and drawing thoughtful conclusions.
logical structure
Logical structure and flow are strong, with each paragraph systematically presenting arguments for and against the topic.
supported main points
Main points are well supported with relevant examples, effectively illustrating the arguments for parents and educators.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.