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Writing Samples
Band 6

Young people who commit crimes should be punished the same as adults. To what extent do you agree or disagree

#people #crimes #adults
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Nowadays, the number of
crimes
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 increased especially with open sources on the Internet and violence in video games.
However
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, society and government play an important role in limiting these
crimes
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. I partially agree with the statement say teen criminals should be punished the same as adults.
To begin
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 with,
people
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 who have bad behaviour regardless of their age should be punished according to policy and roles.
However
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, young
people
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 must know if they commit
crimes
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 there are
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punishment
Fix the agreement mistake
punishments
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 and consequences,
such
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 as being in rehab for a long time until they behave.
In addition
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, it depends on the
crimes
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, for some violence the
punishment
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 should be strong for both (adult and young),
such
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 as killing and rape and someone), in these
crimes
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 the extreme
punishment
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 should be applied.
On the other hand
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, for minor
crimes
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, the
punishment
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 should be different,
for example
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, if teenagers do drugs and be a dealer, it is not fair to be arrested , the rehab will be a good place for letting them recover, without charging them and taking them to court.
Furthermore
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, Young
people
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 need a leader to guide them to good things when society punishes and aband them, aslo that will make them criminal in the future. In conclusion, young
people
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 can change easily by putting them in a good environment, if the government punish them equally as an adult it will be a huge mistake,
moreover
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, young
people
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 need to know there are consequences for their action, but some
crimes
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 are not forgettable and they will punish as an adult.
Submitted by nualmazrui on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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