Nowadays technology is increasingly being used to monitor what people are saying and doing (for example, through cellphone tracking and security cameras). In many casesm the people being monitoredd are unaware that this is happening. Do you thinj the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

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In the current era,
the
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apply
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technological advancement has reached its highest point and it is easily accessible by the common
people
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. I believe these technologies have given
the
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apply
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society a sophisticated life that had never been possible for the past generations.
Hence
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, the advantages of
this
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development outweigh its disadvantages.
First,
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let us discuss the benefits, the
internet
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is one of the major
invention
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inventions
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by
the
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apply
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humans and it has revolutionised their way of life
for ever
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forever
show examples
. The
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internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
has impacted all
the
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apply
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sectors including education,
medical
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medicine
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, banking, and communications...etc.
Communications
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Communication
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is one of the key industries that has been changed
for ever
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forever
show examples
after
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internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
.
For example
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, 20 years ago, if you
have
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had
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to communicate
to
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with
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someone who
lives
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lived
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far
, it
Rephrase
away, it
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is
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was
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only through a telephone call or we
have
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had
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to send out mail
order
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orders
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which
will
Wrong verb form
would
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take
for ever
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forever
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to reach our loved ones.
However
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,
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internet
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the internet
show examples
has made everything closer to us - just a click of a button away; we can make a video
conferincing
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conferencing
call or send money to their bank
acoount
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account
accounts
within minutes.
Morever
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Moreover
, during the recent COVID pandemic, the world operated only because of the
technoligical
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technological
advancement
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advancements
show examples
made over the years and relied on
Use synonyms
internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
for almost everything
such
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as online education, working from home, grocery shopping etc.
On the other hand
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, there are disadvantages,
such
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as
people
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can be tracked or monitored
of
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for
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what they are doing on
very
Add an article
a very
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personal level. Cellphones with
Use synonyms
internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
is
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are
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like
you are
Verb problem
apply
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having a mobile computer with you all the time.
Mobile
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The mobile
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phone has advanced so much that
the
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apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
have limited the usage of
computer
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a computer
the computer
show examples
only for their professional work, all other recreational activities are spent
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
the mobile
such
Linking Words
as watching movies, listening to songs, making video calls...etc. The phones are run by artificial intelligence to monitor our habits and
accordingly
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alter the applications to enhance the ease of usage. It is
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
similar case with security cameras, it is installed
everwhere
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everywhere
show examples
across the city and there is no privacy even sometimes within your own home. If
the
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apply
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cell phones and
the
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apply
show examples
security cameras
were
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are
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not used for the purpose it is built,
then
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it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
provides
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provide
show examples
lot
Change the article
a lot
show examples
of disadvantages to
the
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apply
show examples
society. The bank account numbers and the passwords stored in the mobile phone can be used for illegal purposes. The cameras can used to illegally videotape personal
footages
Fix the agreement mistake
footage
show examples
and blackmail
people
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.
Hence
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, the user must be very
carefull
Correct your spelling
careful
in using the available technology. As I mentioned earlier, technology is similar to fire, it has to be used for the purpose it is built,
otherwise
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it is a weapon of mass destruction.
Submitted by msrinivas7866 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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