In some countries, the number of shootings increase because many people have guns at home. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

There is no shortage of opinion on the correlation between the growth of the number of
shootings
and having guns at home. But if I were forced to choose
one
point of view, I would definitely agree that
this
statement is the right
one
. It is my firm belief that sum of
shootings
increases due to owning weapons at the house for a total of reasons, and I will develop these ideas in the subsequent paragraphs.
To begin
with, I want to say that
gun
usage become uncontrollable and chaotic in countries, where the laws give a clearance to have
one
at your own house. The black markets start to expand quickly with the regulations, and the problem to buy a weapon without having a license or medical approval disappeared. And these markets give freedom to malefactors to shoot other
people
.
For example
, just a few years ago in the newspapers all around the world, there was news about a horrific massacre in Las Vegas, Nevada. The man killed over 50
people
during a concert, just shooting from the apartment of the hotel nearby the event. And the most bizarre part is he had bought more than 20 different weapons in the unlegal market and brought all of them as luggage day by day to the hotel room. And no
one
even asked him for what purposes he needed
this
amount of arms. No doubt, it is clear to see how uncontrollable the market for guns can become.
Secondly
, there is a significant negative impact of the rap culture that popularize drugs and arms among young
people
. Numerous video clips for music tracks are available on media platforms and millions of youngsters watch
this
and want to be like their idols. So teenagers start thinking that having a
gun
is a good thing and try to buy
one
for themselves to have at least at home. But the scary part is, that some of the
people
are so influenced by the culture, that they start
shootings
even in their schools. I remember when just at the beginning of
this
year, there was a case of a 17-year-old-boy who killed over 12 kids in the elementary school near his house, just because he was angry about some noise from the children during the work days. And later, after being under investigation by the police, he told the justice, that
one
of his idols did the same and he wanted to be as famous as him. For
this
reason, I am totally confident, that popularizing arms through media clips incurs the increased number of
shootings
every day. In conclusion, I strongly believe that a rising growth
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
the number of
shootings
is heavily correlated with the situation when many
people
have guns at home. And as I mentioned before, it causes uncontrollable and chaotic
gun
usage and
therefore
horrific massacres that we could prevent by not giving regular
people
the right to own the
gun
, as we never know, what would be their
next
thought.
Submitted by Ruslan R on

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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