In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message ?

#cultures #children #message

Having plenty of experience and achievement for youths has become popular since globalisation comes. Many assume that in the industrialisation era, teenagers can acquire the targets of life with hard work.

This

phenomenon is becoming an issue with some benefits and drawbacks for

children

and

this

essay will address

this

current trend.

To begin

with, in

this

recent year, juveniles frequently will be

hard-working

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the hard-working

a hard-working

show examples

person

Fix the agreement mistake

people

show examples

to achieve their

Change noun form

future

show examples

future’

Correct your spelling

future

show examples

goals.

Children

tend to have several targets in their life and have a mindset to

force

themselves in order to gain the best result.

For example

, students in school tend to study hard to compete with their classmates and

also

want to be the

first

rank in class. Learners will

force

themselves to learn about the subjects and to succeed in the final examination. If the score is better than others, they will be glad because their effort is fruitful. With

this

experience, young individuals seem to

force

themselves to achieve their goals with

Correct your spelling

hard work

show examples

hard-work

Correct your spelling

hard work

show examples

Furthermore

in contrast

, the context of hard-working students could have an impact on

children’

Change noun form

children’s

show examples

health. Young people who are forced to work hard, frequently focus on the targets

instead

aware

Add a missing verb

being aware

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of their health.

For instance

, middle-aged athletes have numerous training sessions in a month because of competition.

Therefore

, young athletes rehearse and

force

themselves to have hard training. With

this

hectic schedule, some

children

will have burnout issues. Even though

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

Change preposition

apply

show examples

some

day

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days

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, they feel exhausted or gett injured, they still train with a heavy time. All in all, the concept of hard-working in

this

recent

year

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years

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has become a famous issue, especially for

children

who have been affected.

This

concept will be

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apply

show examples

merit because students tend to be hard-working

person

Fix the agreement mistake

people

show examples

, and

also

be disadvantageous owing to forcing themselves and ignoring health problems. Parents should control the

children

’s activities and have sufficient time to take care of them.

Submitted by serlyayus on Tue Jul 05 2022

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

314 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

achieve
try hard
positive mindset
self-belief
motivates
ambitious goals
resilience
determination
confidence
self-esteem
growth mindset
unrealistic expectations
disappointment
failure
effort
hard work
seek support
individual differences
abilities
capabilities

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In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message ?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Some people think young people should be required to have full time education until they are at least 18 years old. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Due to globalization, many countries lose their traditions and national values. Some people think it is the responsibility of governments to protect these values. Do you agree or disagree?

despite the increased access to education, a significant number of people cannot read or write, what are the disadvantages, and what actions the should government take?