IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Some people think that only the government can make significant changes in society, while others think that individual can have a lot of influence. What is your opinion?

#people #government #changes #society #influence
Enormous changes in the public have more controlled by the politicians and the team of scientists than by usual person in solitary,but,there is a controversial topic amongst nations and some believe each person has their own power to influence the community,
however
,I have completely disagreed with the latter statement,but I am going to discuss both sides of
this
 argument. At
first
 ,social life is a process which is identified by the general political lines by the policymakers,
for example
, when the healthcare system is the support centre for citizens that the government has been invested on through providing spaces to creating hospitals and having an effective academic place to educating students to be professional doctors and gaining resources to reducing the expenses of the treatments ,
however
, there are
also
 many personal activities can be able to control some disorders
such
 as diabetes, hypertension by replacing active lifestyle
instead
 of sedentary in the personal decision, but we have known the effective health care system is a greater role to preventing from diseases and educating people to care of ourselves.
Second
, in attention to the importance of education to learn essential facts for handling future life ,It is well understood that there must be a general plan for teaching our children and it needs basic infrastructures
such
 as building schools, providing subways ,proper transportation system and access to enough foods for growing a healthy brain , so , all things are depended for concise coordination between all parts of a country .
Finally
, the great movement is progressing on a nation will be done by the government ,not a person,because social improvement distincts by the useful laws ,correct usage of essential infrastructures,so,
this
 whole plan must be set by some specialists in many fields and the government should be a backbone for that.
Submitted by homa.ebrahimi987 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: