It is better for companies to help their workers feel happy at work rather than put lots of pressure on them for the sake of profit. Do you agree or disagree?

#companies #workers #work #lots #pressure #sake #profit

It is common knowledge that workplace satisfaction is crucial for both

employees

and employers. Some argue that

companies

should prioritize making their workers happy rather than exerting excessive

pressure

for profit maximization. I firmly agree with

this

viewpoint. One of the major reasons for supporting employee happiness over profit

pressure

is that content workers are more productive.

This

means that when

employees

are satisfied, they are more inclined to be involved with their tasks and responsibilities, leading to better performance.

For instance

companies

like Google and Apple are known for providing a wide range of services and benefits to their

employees

, which in turn, boosts morale and productivity.

Moreover

, by creating a supportive and enjoyable work environment, these

companies

persuade their

employees

to excel in their roles without the need for excessive

pressure

. Another significant reason is the long-term benefits of a happy workforce.

In other words

, when

employees

are not subjected to undue stress, they are less likely to experience burnout and are more likely to stay with the company longer.

As a result

companies

save on recruitment and training costs

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

and maintain a stable, experienced workforce.

Consequently

, exaggerating the

pressure

for the sake of profit can lead to high turnover rates and a negative work atmosphere, which ultimately hinders the company's success.

Overall

, it is evident that prioritizing employee happiness over excessive profit-driven

pressure

is beneficial for

companies

Furthermore

, happy workers are more productive and loyal, which portrays a positive image of the company and contributes to its long-term success.

Therefore

companies

should focus on creating a supportive and enjoyable work environment to reap these benefits.

Submitted by eparfenenkov on Sun Aug 04 2024

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coherence cohesion

Consider expanding your introduction to better outline what will be discussed in the essay.

task achievement

Use additional specific examples from a variety of companies or industries to strengthen your argument.

task achievement

Clear and comprehensive ideas effectively communicated throughout the essay.

coherence cohesion

Logical structure with a clear introduction and conclusion, and well-supported main points.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

268 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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It is better for companies to help their workers feel happy at work rather than put lots of pressure on them for the sake of profit. Do you agree or disagree?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Fewer and fewer people walk on a daily basis. What are the reasons and how to encourage them to spend their time walking?

A large number of young people cannot find a job when they leave university. What problems will youth unemployment cause for individuals and for society? What measures should take to help reduce unemployment?

Despite the increased access to education, a significant number of people cannot read or write. What are the disadvantages without these skills? And What actions should governments take?

Homelessness is increasing in many major cities around the world. What do you think are the main causes of this problem and what measures could be taken to solve it?

Private car ownership has been increasing over the past few decades. This has given ordinary people greater mobility, but has also led to concerns about traffic congestion and air pollution. Do the advantages of private car ownership outweigh the disadvantages?