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Band 7.5

Everyone should stay at school until 18. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#school
It is still controversial whether youngsters should stay at
school
 until the age of 18. While some people object to
this
 point of view, I partly agree with it. In
this
 essay, I will delve deep into both sides of the argument and give out my logical conclusion. On the one hand, there is a
school
 of thought agreeing with the point of quitting
school
 before 18. People supporting
this
 view argue that graduating from high
school
 is simply the preparation for entering higher education, which has few or no benefits to juveniles who desire to have an occupation at the age of 18. To elucidate, high
school
 curriculums usually consist of academic knowledge solely without providing any vocational courses to prepare young people to acquire experience and skills to enter trades
such
 as electricians or car mechanics.
Therefore
,
instead
 of wasting their time studying those subjects, teenagers who are not intending to pursue an academic career could start working early to get useful knowledge and experience about particular jobs.
On the other hand
, I hold the belief that compulsory education until 18 is necessary. To clarify, the global economy now demands high skill levels, and educational qualifications are essential if adolescents are to have good job prospects and pursue a successful
career
Fix the agreement mistake
careers
show examples
.
Consequently
, juveniles completing high
school
 studies may have certain advantages over those who have not finished in the competitive job market nowadays.
For example
, many factories in Vietnam only hire or are willing to pay a higher salary for workers who acquired high
school
 diplomas. In conclusion,
although
 quitting
school
 before 18 could be advantageous to some extent, I believe that staying at
school
 up to the age of 18 would be of enormous benefit to all youngsters.
Submitted by hoanggiabaobg100 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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