In many countries, sports and exercise classes are replaced with the academic subjects. Discuss the effects of this trend.

#countries #sports #exercise #classes #subjects #effects #trend

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Over the past few decades, academic

subjects

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have become increasingly important in

this

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fast-changing information-based society. Nowadays, there has been a growing debate as to whether it would be more effective to replace physical

education

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classes with academic

subjects

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. Despite the importance of sports, I highly believe that it is inevitable and more efficient to focus more on academic

subjects

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for several reasons. Those who argue that sports and exercise classes are needed in school base their case on the following arguments. First of all, sports are a good way to build character and develop personality.

That is

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, there are necessary for learning about competition, cooperation, and good sportsmanship.

In addition

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, as a majority of children these days are addicted to the Internet, they find it hard to leave their

computer

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computers

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Consequently

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, a growing number of children are becoming overweight or obese

due to

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a lack of exercise. So, if schools foster an environment that deprives students of getting a proper physical

education

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, it will have a long-term negative effect on children both mentally and physically.

Nevertheless

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, people should not ignore the fact that devoting more time and energy to academic

subjects

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will benefit students more in the long run. The time devoted to physical

education

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now would be better spent teaching students English.

This

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is because speaking fluent English will give young people an advantage over other college applicants and job seekers in the near future.

Besides

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, science will undoubtedly benefit youth more than physical

education

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as well. The principles learned in science will provide the necessary foundation for solving

and

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apply

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difficult problems that are sure to arise in students’ futures. In summary, there are high hopes that educators and parents exercise wisdom in teaching young generations.

Submitted by Sabina Hamisi on Tue Jul 05 2022

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task response

The essay demonstrates a clear understanding of the topic and presents a coherent argument. However, there is a need to provide more specific examples to support the main points. Focus on developing more detailed examples and linking ideas more explicitly.

coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are well-developed and effectively frame the essay. However, the overall coherence can be improved by using more cohesive devices to link ideas and provide clearer transitions between paragraphs. Work on using transition words and phrases to guide the reader through the essay.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

288 words

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In many countries, sports and exercise classes are replaced with the academic subjects. Discuss the effects of this trend.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Many students like to get involved in extra- curricular activities at university such as social clubs and sports. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?v

The rise of social media has affected personal relationships and society as a hole. Do the advantages of using social media for communication outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people think that the government is wasting money on the arts and that this money could be better spent elsewhere. To what extent do you agree with this view?

More and more plastic waste is polluting cities, countryside and oceans. What problems does it cause? What are the solutions?

Some people believe studying in a college or university is the best way to prepare for a successful career. Other people prefer to get a job as soon as they leave school and to develop their career through work experience. Discuss both views and give your own opinio