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Band 4.5

Nowadays some parents pressure their children to be successful in a specific field. What are the the reasons for this? Is this a positive or negative development?

#parents #pressure #children #field #development
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School
Correct article usage
The school
show examples
 curriculum teaches
children
 many subjects to prepare them for the future. Some
parents
 think that some
fields
 are more important than
others
;
therefore
, they force their
children
 to be good at them. In
this
 essay, I will discuss the reasons behind that action and argue why it is a bad decision to do.
To begin
 with, there are some
fields
 that are seen to be
more
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
superior
than
Change preposition
to
show examples
others
. Many believe that some subjects are harder than
others
,
hence
 for a child to be
Correct your spelling
successful
succesful
Correct your spelling
successful
 at it will be seen to be smarter than
others
.
Furthermore
, they usually
leads
Change the verb form
lead
show examples
 to
Correct your spelling
prestigious
prestigous
Correct your spelling
prestigious
 professions with high salary, which is one of the parameters of success for some people these days. Despite those reasons, pressuring
children
 cannot be seen as a good action.
Parents
 must realize that each child
born
Add a missing verb
is born
show examples
 with different talents and different interests.
Therefore
, rather than
dicatating
Correct your spelling
dictating
 them to be successful in something they're not talented or interested in,
parents
 should support them in things they like. Einstein, Mozart, and George Washington were successful people each
come
Wrong verb form
coming
show examples
 from different
fields
. The path to
become
Change the verb form
becoming
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
successful
Replace the word
success
show examples
 is not specific to a certain field. In conclusion, some
parents
 force their
children
 to be good at certain
fields
 due to social
Correct your spelling
perception
show examples
preception
Correct your spelling
perception
show examples
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
 certain subjects and professions. Despite
the
Correct your spelling
these
show examples
 reasons, I believe it would be wrong for
parents
 to force their
children
 to master something they do not like and it would be better for
parents
 to understand and support their
children
Change noun form
children's
show examples
 talents and interests.
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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