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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

mobile phones have changed the way many people communicate. Nowadays people cannot live without them if they want to be a part of sociaty. to what extend do you think this is true?

#phones #people #part #sociaty
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Nowadays, cellular phones transform into
people
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's primary
needs
Fix the agreement mistake
need
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 to interact with others. It
also
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 has been a widespread argument that cellphones
has
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have
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 become a lifestyle, no matter the social status
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
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. I strongly agree with the given statement.
Firstly
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, cellphones cut
people
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's distance, they can still keep in touch
everytime
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every time
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 and everywhere. If
people
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 live in
a
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apply
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high mobility, they will not be worry since they should not experience
face to face
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face-to-face
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meeting
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meetings
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 and have a direct
conversation
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conversations
show examples
.
For instance
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, Zoom, or
video
Correct article usage
a video
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 call application, helps
people
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 to make a live presentation and get fast responses.
Furthermore
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, handphones do not let
people
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to
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apply
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not keep
Correct your spelling
being
beeing
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being
Wrong verb form
updated
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update
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updated
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 with the current information and prevent them from fear of missing out (FOMO).
For example
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, subscribing
electronic
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to electronic
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 news,
such
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 as The Guardian, CNN, and BBC, maintains our
society to be
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society's
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aware
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awareness
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with
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of
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 their surroundings.
Besides
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,
people
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 can easily
to
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apply
show examples
articulate their emotions through their
hand
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hands
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 only. There are a bunch of features that
supports
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support
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people
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 to represent their feelings in a unique way. To illustrate, the smile emoticons express happy feelings, fire emoticons express
sad
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sadness
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 or anger.
Furthermore
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, handphones provide a flexible system to save wordy messages and read
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
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 all at once later. As a consequence, it increases work productivity which becomes most
of
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apply
show examples
Add an article
the worker's
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worker's
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workers'
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 targets. To conclude, I firmly believe that handphones bring
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
positive
impacts
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impact
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to
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on
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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society. They remove unproductive things and connect
people
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 without any border. It
also
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 supports
people
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 to send a unique message
by
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through
show examples
 its features.
Submitted by serlyayus on

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