Some people believe that team sports are very important for children to succeed in their career, while others disagree. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #team #sports #children #career

There are those who are of the belief that

team

sports

are essential for the young to achieve success in their career, while others do not support

this

view. On the one hand,

team

sports

in children

teaches

Correct subject-verb agreement

teach

show examples

them to be physically active and mentally stable.

This

is because, mainly, it prepares their mind and body in order for them to achieve success.

Sports

such

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

basketball and football, Christiano Ronaldo, Leo Messi and Michael Jordan,

Fix the infinitive

apply

show examples

illustrate, reached the top of their chosen professions because of their readiness and perseverance

playing

Change preposition

in playing

show examples

, with their

team

, when they were still young.

This

kind of attitude would foster an individual's ability and attain the pinnacle of their life.

On the other hand

, there are those who reject the former proposition. These individuals believe that with the right amount of

Correct your spelling

hard work

hardwork

Correct your spelling

hard work

and proper education , anyone can ultimately attain their goals in life. These factors that go hand-in-hand, if taken seriously would result

Change preposition

show examples

better opportunities.

For example

, students who are very much focused

with

Change preposition

show examples

their studies, will absolutely finish their degree and receive their certificates or have their degree. In my own experience, I have seen a lot of my friends who were not involved in any kind of varsity game or squad

team

when they were still young.

However

, they have come to obtain a good

job

Fix the agreement mistake

jobs

show examples

and

Correct your spelling

success

succeed

succes

Correct your spelling

succeed

in life because of their attitude

towards

Change preposition

toward

show examples

education. In conclusion,

team

sports

can be a factor but I am of the opinion that the latter is much more beneficial.

Submitted by springwaltz92 on Wed Jul 06 2022

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

258 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people believe that team sports are very important for children to succeed in their career, while others disagree. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Shopping habits depend more on your age group than anything else. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The picture below shows the use of renewable energy accounting the total energy from 1971 to 2011. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting main feature and make comparison where relevant.

Some people believe that entertainers are paid too much and their impact on society is negative, while others disagree and believe that they deserve the money that they make because of their positive effects on society. Discuss both opinions and give your own opinion.