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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

There are social, medical and technical problems associated with the of mobile phone. What form do they take? Do you agree that the problems outweigh the benefits of mobile phone.

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Nowadays, numerous people spend a lot of
time
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 with their mobile
phones
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 because of their advantages.
Although
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 there are many benefits of it, there are many social, medical and technical problems linked with it. In my experience, I think the benefit of the mobile phone outweighs its drawbacks.
First
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, despite many social apps on mobile
phones
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, the youth lack communication skills, especially direct communication skills. Many young people said that they feel tense and can not talk with their colleagues or boss in real-
time
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. An, one of my friends, shared with me that he feels uneasy when he stays with his girlfriend for more than an hour.
Second
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, because people spend much
time
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 with their devices, they have little
time
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 for outdoor activities
such
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 as football, swimming or badminton. The more they stay indoors and
use
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 their mobile device the more they get at risk of many diseases like obesity, diabetes, and heart disease. According to a journal published in NEJM,
this
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 generation became overweight and got heart disease at very youth age.
However
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, there are many cons associated with the
use
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 of mobile
phones
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, there are many pros too. The device helps our lives more comfortable and convenient. Now we not only can talk to our relatives in foreign countries easily but we
also
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 can see them by video call app. We can do our job far from our work office or meet our clients by our phone so we can stay at home with our family. In conclusion,
Although
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 there are some disadvantages of the
use
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 of mobile
phones
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, individuals can reduce them by reducing
use
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time
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 and spending more
time
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 on outdoor activities. Overall the pros of mobile
phones
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 outweigh their cons.

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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