A large company in your area has decided to spend a certain amount of money, either to sponsor a local children's sports team for two years or to pay for two open-air concerts. It has asked for feedback from the general public. Write a letter to the company. In your letter: & Describe the benefits of sponsoring the sports team. & Summaries the benefits of paying for the concerts. & Say how you think the company should spend the money.

#company #area #amount #money #sponsor #children #sports #team #two #years #concerts #feedback #summaries

Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing

this

letter to express my perspectives regarding your sponsorship within our community.

Firstly

, I wish to extend my gratitude for your decision, as it will undoubtedly yield positive outcomes in various contexts. Currently, our public school comprises two basketball

teams

that, unfortunately, lack adequate training opportunities. The children participating in these

teams

demonstrate remarkable talent; should they receive the same levels of support and resources as students in private schools, many may aspire to pursue careers in basketball.

Furthermore

, our community rarely convenes

due to

the high costs associated with basic necessities, which limits individuals' ability to allocate funds toward social gatherings.

Consequently

, hosting two open-air concerts would prove beneficial for all, as attendance would be free of charge. I strongly advocate for investment in our children's basketball

teams

Although

I do not have children myself, I recognise that they represent our future, and enhancing the quality of our sports

teams

would significantly contribute to their development. Yours faithfully, Kurbonov Arthur

Submitted by omondavlat91 on Mon Aug 12 2024

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logical structure

While the letter is well-structured, incorporating a concluding paragraph that succinctly summarizes the main points can enhance logical structure.

single idea per paragraph

Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single idea to improve clarity and coherence.

suitable writing tone

The tone of the letter is respectful and appropriately formal, which suits the context of addressing a company.

complete response

The letter effectively addresses all three prompts, providing a complete response to the task.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

7 paragraphs

168 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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