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Band 4.5

Some modern artists receive huge sums of money for the things they create , while others struggle to survive . governments should take steps to resolve thiw unfair situation . To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#artists #sums #money #struggle #governments #steps #thiw #situation
The
art
industry
 is a free market, which rewards only the best and
government
 intervention would take away the incentive for hard
work
 and perseverance and
therefore
 rob us of some great works. For
this
reason
Add a comma
,reason
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 I strongly disagree that governments should take steps to fix the unfair situation.
Art
 as an
industry
 has always been rewarding for a few artists and a nightmare for the rest. It is an immensely competitive, cut-throat
industry
 and reaching the top is
no
Correct your spelling
not
show examples
 easy
Correct your spelling
feat
show examples
feet
Correct your spelling
feat
show examples
. Some
Correct your spelling
artist's
artists
artisit's
Correct your spelling
artists's
work
 is not appreciated during their life, Vincent Van Gough
for example
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and the struggle these people go through adds to their
work
. Many
art
 historians believe that without the emotional and financial struggle Van Gough went through, his
work
 would not be as beautiful as it is. Another reason why the
government
 should not intervene is
because
Replace the word
that
show examples
by
Change preposition
apply
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doing so it could damage the authenticity of the
industry
, causing people to enter
this
world
 for financial reasons alone, rather than love of
art
.
Artisits
Correct your spelling
Artists
 enter
this
industry
 with no
guarntees
Correct your spelling
guarantees
 and do it for the love of their
work
. On the flip side, arguments could be made that the
government
 is responsible for regulating the markets and making sure it is fair for everyone, and the
art
world
 is no exception to
this
. The
government
 should help new artists with financial stimulus and give them the same opportunities that famous artists receive. In conclusion, while some can argue that
government
 intervention is needed, in my opinion, tampering with the
art
world
 would take away from its authenticity and may be detrimental to the
art
world
.
Submitted by h_alchalabi on

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  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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