IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some modern artists receive huge sums of money for the things they create , while others struggle to survive . governments should take steps to resolve thiw unfair situation . To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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The
art
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industry
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 is a free market, which rewards only the best and
government
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 intervention would take away the incentive for hard
work
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 and perseverance and
therefore
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 rob us of some great works. For
this
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reason
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,reason
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 I strongly disagree that governments should take steps to fix the unfair situation.
Art
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 as an
industry
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 has always been rewarding for a few artists and a nightmare for the rest. It is an immensely competitive, cut-throat
industry
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 and reaching the top is
no
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not
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 easy
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feat
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feet
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feat
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. Some
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artist's
artists
artisit's
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artists's
work
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 is not appreciated during their life, Vincent Van Gough
for example
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,
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apply
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 and the struggle these people go through adds to their
work
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. Many
art
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 historians believe that without the emotional and financial struggle Van Gough went through, his
work
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 would not be as beautiful as it is. Another reason why the
government
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 should not intervene is
because
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that
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by
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apply
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doing so it could damage the authenticity of the
industry
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, causing people to enter
this
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world
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 for financial reasons alone, rather than love of
art
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.
Artisits
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Artists
 enter
this
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industry
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 with no
guarntees
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guarantees
 and do it for the love of their
work
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. On the flip side, arguments could be made that the
government
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 is responsible for regulating the markets and making sure it is fair for everyone, and the
art
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world
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 is no exception to
this
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. The
government
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 should help new artists with financial stimulus and give them the same opportunities that famous artists receive. In conclusion, while some can argue that
government
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 intervention is needed, in my opinion, tampering with the
art
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world
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 would take away from its authenticity and may be detrimental to the
art
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world
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.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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