Some modern artists receive huge sums of money for the things they create , while others struggle to survive . governments should take steps to resolve thiw unfair situation . To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#artists #sums #money #struggle #governments #steps #thiw #situation

The

art

industry

is a free market, which rewards only the best and

government

intervention would take away the incentive for hard

work

and perseverance and

therefore

rob us of some great works. For

this

reason

Add a comma

,reason

show examples

I strongly disagree that governments should take steps to fix the unfair situation.

Art

as an

industry

has always been rewarding for a few artists and a nightmare for the rest. It is an immensely competitive, cut-throat

industry

and reaching the top is

Correct your spelling

not

show examples

easy

Correct your spelling

feat

show examples

feet

Correct your spelling

feat

show examples

. Some

Correct your spelling

artist's

artists

artisit's

Correct your spelling

artists's

work

is not appreciated during their life, Vincent Van Gough

for example

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

and the struggle these people go through adds to their

work

. Many

art

historians believe that without the emotional and financial struggle Van Gough went through, his

work

would not be as beautiful as it is. Another reason why the

government

should not intervene is

because

Replace the word

that

show examples

Change preposition

apply

show examples

doing so it could damage the authenticity of the

industry

, causing people to enter

this

world

for financial reasons alone, rather than love of

art

Artisits

Correct your spelling

Artists

enter

this

industry

with no

guarntees

Correct your spelling

guarantees

and do it for the love of their

work

. On the flip side, arguments could be made that the

government

is responsible for regulating the markets and making sure it is fair for everyone, and the

art

world

is no exception to

this

. The

government

should help new artists with financial stimulus and give them the same opportunities that famous artists receive. In conclusion, while some can argue that

government

intervention is needed, in my opinion, tampering with the

art

world

would take away from its authenticity and may be detrimental to the

art

world

Submitted by h_alchalabi on Wed Jul 06 2022

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Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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3Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

270 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some modern artists receive huge sums of money for the things they create , while others struggle to survive . governments should take steps to resolve thiw unfair situation . To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Explain some of the ways in which humans are damaging the environment. What can governments do to address these problems? What can individual people do?

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Machines are replacing humans in the manual workforce. Do you think the positive effects outweigh the negative effects?

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