19 .As the world has become technological advance, computer are replacing more and more jobs that maybe lose because of computer. Discuss at lear one problem that may result.

#world #advance #computer #jobs #lear

In the epoch of globalization, the technology has been integrated in many sectors. It plays a vital role in enhancing

work

Therefore

computers

replacing more jobs and individuals can lose their jobs because of

this

technology. In

this

essay, I will elaborate on

this

issue and how to tackle it.

To begin

with, a wide range of companies are managed by

computers

. It replaced humans in many sectors.

For instance

, car factories are utilizing

computers

and robots for car fabrication. The owners of these companies assume that robots can

work

swiftly, smoothly and precisely.

Moreover

computers

can not be exhausted or bored during

work

. It will

also

not

blaming from

Wrong verb form

blame

show examples

the wages.

Thus

, the scale of the

computer

is higher recently.

Finally

, these machines can

work

under rough circumstances and for a long period.

Furthermore

, there are a lot of cons

due to

the

computer

Firstly

, if it is not well secure, it will be hacked.

Hence

, anyone will be able to ruin the

work

. Moving

further

, it needs regular maintenance. Over time the

computer

can be upgraded and

this

imposes more currency with companies. Ultimately, the proportion of jobless individuals will be skyrocketed.

This

will reflect in the society and the economy. One of the sparked examples is Taiwan. The government made everything

work

computer

Correct word choice

and as

show examples

a result, the percentage of destitute citizens increased and they are suffering. In conclusion, there will be a debate in

this

argument.

However

computers

can be imposed in minor

jobsjobs

Correct your spelling

jobs

and major jobs for people. Both of them are completing each other.

Submitted by mohannadsme on Wed Aug 14 2024

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introduction conclusion present

The introduction accurately identifies the main issue and outlines the purpose of the essay. However, it would benefit from being a bit more concise and clearer in presenting the main points to be discussed.

complete response

The essay touches on several relevant issues related to computer automation and job loss, but it would be stronger with more specific examples and deeper analysis. Particularly, citing more than one country or industry would add to the depth and comprehensiveness of the response.

logical structure

The essay's logical structure is generally clear, but some points could be better organized for smoother flow. Consider using more transitional phrases to connect ideas and ensuring each paragraph has a clear main point that supports the thesis statement.

introduction conclusion present

The essay effectively starts with a relevant introduction and concludes with a summarizing statement, which wraps up the discussion appropriately.

relevant specific examples

The examples provided, such as the use of robots in car factories, help illustrate the points being made and add credibility to the argument.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

Introduction
Body paragraph 1 – Problems
Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

One of the first problems of the...
Another problem that needs to be considered...
A possible solution to this problem would be...
One immediate practical solution is to...

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15Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

260 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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19 .As the world has become technological advance, computer are replacing more and more jobs that maybe lose because of computer. Discuss at lear one problem that may result.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Fewer young people play sports these days. Why is this? what can be done to encourage more young people to do sports.

Many people believe money is a very important factor for achieving hapiness.Others, however believe that money has nothing to do with hapiness.Discuss both views.

Some people think cars are a better way of transportation around the city, while other prefer cycling. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people believe the professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+