19 .As the world has become technological advance, computer are replacing more and more jobs that maybe lose because of computer. Discuss at lear one problem that may result.

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In the epoch of globalization, the technology has been integrated in many sectors. It plays a vital role in enhancing
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.
Therefore
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,
computers
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

replacing more jobs and individuals can lose their jobs because of
this
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technology. In
this
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essay, I will elaborate on
this
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issue and how to tackle it.
To begin
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with, a wide range of companies are managed by
computers
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. It replaced humans in many sectors.
For instance
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, car factories are utilizing
computers
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and robots for car fabrication. The owners of these companies assume that robots can
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swiftly, smoothly and precisely.
Moreover
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,
computers
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

can not be exhausted or bored during
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. It will
also
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not
blaming from
Wrong verb form
blame

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb blaming from. Consider changing it.

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the wages.
Thus
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, the scale of the
computer
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is higher recently.
Finally
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, these machines can
work
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under rough circumstances and for a long period.
Furthermore
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, there are a lot of cons
due to
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the
computer
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.
Firstly
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, if it is not well secure, it will be hacked.
Hence
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, anyone will be able to ruin the
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. Moving
further
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, it needs regular maintenance. Over time the
computer
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can be upgraded and
this
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imposes more currency with companies. Ultimately, the proportion of jobless individuals will be skyrocketed.
This
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will reflect in the society and the economy. One of the sparked examples is Taiwan. The government made everything
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by
computer
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,
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

as
Correct word choice
and as

It seems that conjunction use may be incorrect here.

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a result, the percentage of destitute citizens increased and they are suffering. In conclusion, there will be a debate in
this
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

argument.
However
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
computers
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

can be imposed in minor
jobsjobs
Correct your spelling
jobs

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and major jobs for people. Both of them are completing each other.

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introduction conclusion present
The introduction accurately identifies the main issue and outlines the purpose of the essay. However, it would benefit from being a bit more concise and clearer in presenting the main points to be discussed.
complete response
The essay touches on several relevant issues related to computer automation and job loss, but it would be stronger with more specific examples and deeper analysis. Particularly, citing more than one country or industry would add to the depth and comprehensiveness of the response.
logical structure
The essay's logical structure is generally clear, but some points could be better organized for smoother flow. Consider using more transitional phrases to connect ideas and ensuring each paragraph has a clear main point that supports the thesis statement.
introduction conclusion present
The essay effectively starts with a relevant introduction and concludes with a summarizing statement, which wraps up the discussion appropriately.
relevant specific examples
The examples provided, such as the use of robots in car factories, help illustrate the points being made and add credibility to the argument.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

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