Write a letter to local council regarding the plan of replacement of a library with a supermarket, you need to write the following: -where did you get this information -the disadvantages of having a supermarket instead of a library -importance of having a library

Dear Sir/Madam, Being one of the members of your Whitehorse community, I am writing to express my worry regarding the news I read in today's newspaper, the Australia
times
Capitalize word
Times
show examples
. It explained that the existing private
library
is being demolished with the construction of a supermarket.
Hence
, making our suburb more commercial, modern and
well facilitated
Add a hyphen
well-facilitated
show examples
.
While
this
is the case, I am disheartened and would like to share my views that may help you to reconsider, if you may. As you may know, there are a lot of local shops
such
as cafes, restaurants, and convenience stores that have been catering to our suburbs and have been trying to grow their small businesses over
years
Correct article usage
the years
show examples
now. Another concern could be senior citizens who can't travel far distances on their own rather, prefer quiet time in the
library
and will have to sit at home to enjoy their private day
while
reading. Even though supermarkets will make it easy to acquire necessities from one place, they cause more damage to not only the ownership of local businesses (by offering competitive prices) but
also
its people. The
library
,
on the other hand
, is meant to be a place full of information and means of learning and exploring through reading all kinds of books, journals and articles.
In addition
to that, it's a great place for young kids and even grown-ups who
instead
of staying at the school
for completing
Change preposition
to complete
show examples
their assignments, can stay in the local
library
as it's well facilitated and segregated for different age groups.
Moreover
, can rest at home. The other Advantage would be contributing towards social and local engagement and a sense of placemaking. I hope my suggestions and views will be of much help to reconsider for its people. Kindly, let me know if I could contribute in any manner possible. Looking forward to hearing from you! Yours sincerely, Shagun Rodhe
Submitted by shagun.rodhe on

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task response
Ensure that the greeting and closing are more formal and appropriate for an official letter. The greeting should use a title and last name (e.g. 'Dear Mr. Smith'). The closing should be more formal, such as 'Yours faithfully' if you do not know the name of the person you are writing to, or 'Yours sincerely' if you do. Ensure that the letter is structured in a way that responds fully to the task prompt, addressing all the required points in detail.
coherence cohesion
The letter lacks a coherent structure and connection between ideas. Ensure that each paragraph presents a clear main idea and supports that idea with relevant details. Consider using transition words and phrases to connect the ideas more clearly and improve the overall coherence and cohesion of the letter.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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